I Had an Affair in the First Year of Marriage
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What happened during Marcus's affair?
My wife walked out to me having sex with another woman. I was blackout drunk. I don't really remember much of that actual event. We haven't had sex together since, and it's been approaching a year.
Yeah, exhale on that one. I know that wasn't easy. What in the world's going on? This is John with Dr. John Deloney's show, Taking Your Calls. Real people calling from all over the planet, talking about your relationships, your marriage, your kids, your mental and emotional health, whatever you got going on in your life. If you want to be on the show, I would love to have you. Go to johndeloney.com slash ask. That's D-E-L-J-O-H-N-D-E-L-O-N-Y dot com slash ask. A-S-K. Fill out the form. Let us know what's going on, and we'd love to get you on the show. A couple of things. I'm drinking this drink, this liquid death. The show's not sponsored by it. I just like it. But here's what I'm really excited about. My new shirt.
Rumor has it, rumor has it, that Nashville is getting a Major League Baseball team. My Astros have traded away everybody. It's happening, Nashville. Let's get a baseball team. And I can finally let it go. Just like, is it Ariel? Is she the one? Elsa. Elsa. I don't know. I'm tired. I'm done. I gotta be done. I haven't lived in Houston for a long time.
Hey, if I could be a Cowboy fan, still.
I know, but I don't have a humongous star tattooed right at the base of my neck. So I can change. I did almost get a Houston Astros H one time.
Although I would work for me to be a Nashville Stars fan if that was the case.
Oh my gosh.
I'm a Dallas Stars fan.
I will tattoo Nashville Stars on my chest. I'll copy yours when you have. Old English, everything. It'll be rad. Nashville, let's do this. Nashville Stars, come on. Let's make it happen. Let's make it happen. All right, let's go out to Hoboken, New Jersey and talk to Marcus. What up, Marcus?
Hey, John. What's up? Good day to you, sir. You too, man. How we doing? I'm doing probably better than I deserve. All right. That may be a low bar, right? I'm just playing. What's up? Tell me about it. So I'm going to get straight to the point, straight to the facts, John. So on a blackout drunk night in a big social event, my wife walked out to me having sex with another woman. I was blackout drunk. I don't really remember much of that actual event. And since that happened, my wife and I, we've been going through therapy individually as well as couples therapy, seeing psychiatrists, you know, and therapists as well. Day to day, things are as good as they can be given the circumstances. We still show a little affection, but we still function. She's a stay at home person.
um, wife, um, I, I work extremely hard to provide, but ultimately my question is, John, what can I do outside of therapy and counseling, um, to kind of rebuild a safe space for her? And a follow-up question to, to that would be, um, what can I do to kind of, uh, maintain my, uh, physical needs without making her feel pressure because we haven't had sex together since. And it's been approaching a year and I take full responsibility for my actions. Um, and that has been, uh, you know, a really good thing for, for both of us. But those are my questions.
Hey, um, I appreciate you being honest. Okay. That's not an easy thing to do, to just call some strange dude and just lay it out like that. So I appreciate that. Thank you. Yeah, exhale on that one. I know that wasn't easy. It wasn't at all. I know. I know. Exhale one more time. How many times before you got married did you tell yourself you're never going to be that guy that cheats on his wife?
I feel like I tried to convince myself that I would never do it. But deep down, you know, I've been so insecure my whole life. And to be honest, I wasn't ready to get married. But I do love her. And, you know, I'm convinced that she is the one. I just, this is the first time I've ever really been honest with myself, John. There you go.
So what I would tell you is even if you weren't ready to get married, you did, right? Yes. So there we are. So we're here. How long have you been married?
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