Narration / Scene Description

Bernie pushes the button. Suddenly, a magnetic force begins to suck Santa towards the chimney. Bernie, tangled up with Santa, becomes Christmas cocktail. Bernie, tangled up with Santa, becomes Christmas roadkill. She flies backwards. She hits her head on the ground. She's dragged, getting third-degree rug burns. Bernie claws at the rug, but it's no use. The rug goes with.

In a last-ditch effort to save her skin, Bernie throws her arms out, stopping herself at the base of the chimney. After a brief moment of resignation, Bernie looks straight into the barrel for our first... Oi! Bernie gets sucked up the chimney. Bricks and soot explode out, destroying the living room. Exterior roof, seconds later. Santa and Bernie are shot out of the chimney onto the snowy roof.

In a last-ditch effort to save her skin, Bernie throws her arms out, stopping herself at the base of the chimney. After a brief moment of resignation, Bernie looks straight into the barrel for our first... Oi! Bernie gets sucked up the chimney. Bricks and soot explode out, destroying the living room. Exterior roof, seconds later. Santa and Bernie are shot out of the chimney onto the snowy roof.

In a last-ditch effort to save her skin, Bernie throws her arms out, stopping herself at the base of the chimney. After a brief moment of resignation, Bernie looks straight into the barrel for our first... Oi! Bernie gets sucked up the chimney. Bricks and soot explode out, destroying the living room. Exterior roof, seconds later. Santa and Bernie are shot out of the chimney onto the snowy roof.

Bernie lands face down, ass up, looking like a Jewish schmuck. Santa has landed perfectly in the sleigh. Bernie gets up and takes in the sleigh's majestic glory. She runs her fingers along the cranberry paint and velvety upholstery. She travels down the reins to nine noble reindeer. Bernie's smile is ear to ear. This is real life magic.

Bernie lands face down, ass up, looking like a Jewish schmuck. Santa has landed perfectly in the sleigh. Bernie gets up and takes in the sleigh's majestic glory. She runs her fingers along the cranberry paint and velvety upholstery. She travels down the reins to nine noble reindeer. Bernie's smile is ear to ear. This is real life magic.

Bernie lands face down, ass up, looking like a Jewish schmuck. Santa has landed perfectly in the sleigh. Bernie gets up and takes in the sleigh's majestic glory. She runs her fingers along the cranberry paint and velvety upholstery. She travels down the reins to nine noble reindeer. Bernie's smile is ear to ear. This is real life magic.

Bernie realizes Santa has passed out asleep. Drool city.

Bernie realizes Santa has passed out asleep. Drool city.

Bernie realizes Santa has passed out asleep. Drool city.

Bernie attempts to wake him, but he's out cold. She takes a deep breath, climbs into the sleigh, and leans her head on his shoulders.

Bernie attempts to wake him, but he's out cold. She takes a deep breath, climbs into the sleigh, and leans her head on his shoulders.

Bernie attempts to wake him, but he's out cold. She takes a deep breath, climbs into the sleigh, and leans her head on his shoulders.

Bernie turns to Santa's cheek, desperately whispering so close to his face.

Bernie turns to Santa's cheek, desperately whispering so close to his face.

Bernie turns to Santa's cheek, desperately whispering so close to his face.

Bernie has taken Santa's lifeless arms and is waving them in the air. From the streets below, Bernie's neighbor, Phil, and his von Trapp son are walking home from caroling. They spot Bernie from afar with Santa and assume he's a decoration.

Bernie has taken Santa's lifeless arms and is waving them in the air. From the streets below, Bernie's neighbor, Phil, and his von Trapp son are walking home from caroling. They spot Bernie from afar with Santa and assume he's a decoration.

Bernie has taken Santa's lifeless arms and is waving them in the air. From the streets below, Bernie's neighbor, Phil, and his von Trapp son are walking home from caroling. They spot Bernie from afar with Santa and assume he's a decoration.

Back on the roof, the sleigh's radio turns on. An elf's voice comes through.