Chapter 1: What is the setting of the story?
Benjamin shakes his head, never.
Well, that's old news because after tonight, my name in Hanukkah won't be associated with fire. Actually, it will be, but the Gen Z good kind.
Hell yeah, friend. So, how can I help you get redemptive fried? You looking for an indica in the couch situation or a pre-party pump-up?
Benjamin, I'm not smoking before my party. My family's already taking cash bets on me beefing it. I just want something for after to help me unwind.
I got just the thing, my man. Benjamin ducks below the counter and pops back up with gold-wrapped gelt. Bernie inspects the tag.
Miracle gelt. Just one bite and in one night, eight crazy adventures will ignite.
I do love a theme. Eight miracles per serving.
My Safda in Israel got these eats from some ancient rabbi who's a descendant of the Maccabees. This shit's got salt from the Dead Sea. Dates from the West Bank. It's blessed by, like, four holy beards.
Yeah, okay, easy on the hard sell. I'm down for audibles. Thanks, Ben. All right, I'm out. Wish me luck.
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Chapter 2: Who is Bernie Gold and what is her situation?
But we wanted to include you in the Christmas fun.
How neighborly. But it is I that should include you. Why don't you join in on our Hanukkah fun?
Phil's tow-headed child grabs his dad in fear.
Dad, no! If we go in there, Santa will think I'm Jewish. He'll skip our house, and I won't get my Nintendo Switch.
Maybe next time, Bernie. It's not like Hanukkah has a shortage of nights. And yet y'all still picked Christmas Eve to celebrate. Well, okay. We're off to finish the rounds. Spread the cheer.
Convert the masses.
Pardon?
Merry Christmas, Phil. Area neighbors.
They start to sing Mary, did you know, as Bernie slams the door in their faces. Interior, living room, later. The family is gathered around as Bernie lights the menorah. Everyone sings the prayer.
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Chapter 3: What conflict does Bernie face at the airport?
Come on, Santa, work with me here!
She dips her fingers into the water and splashes him repeatedly. Nothing. A gust of wind howled.
Fresh air. Yeah, always sobers me up. Okay, so how do you, um...
Bernie gestures to the chimney.
Front door. Front door is good.
Time jump. Santa's arms are now draped over Bernie's shoulders as she attempts to drag him to the door.
Almost there. Okay, I can do it. No, no, I need a break. Okay, let's just rest for a minute.
Bernie props Santa upright. He balances for a moment until he slowly falls backwards and breaks the coffee table. Glass shatters and food flies.
I killed Santa.
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Chapter 4: How does Bernie interact with her co-worker Eve?
Did you know that you're a baby boy?
Text alert from mom. I pulled out the dining room leaf so you wouldn't scratch it like you did last time.
That was so good. I do both those jobs. That's incredible.
I'm so used to it. She sounds that way all the time.
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