Nathaniel

What's up, brother? Well, I had a question that is how do I handle catching my wife having an affair and what's the next step?

So, it happened last year in September. I... was at work and had these bad feelings, and I was like, what the heck's going on? Texted my wife, no response. Looked up my location, saw that she was at a hotel, but it was during the fires, and she was taking one of her friends home from a concert, so I thought they were evacuated to a hotel, so I let it be.

Yeah, if that would have happened.

Yeah, I did. In my head, I thought, okay, she's there, and I just kept track of the time. And I was like, wait a minute. It's already been two hours. She's been at that location. And when I came home to find out my kids were alone with the uncle, I was like, wait a minute. That's not like her. So then I took it upon myself to wait for the kids to sleep. And I drove over to the hotel.

I didn't know what room she was in. I just waited. I saw the car. And then, like, I don't know, five minutes later, she starts walking out, and I see a guy with her, and I'm like, okay, that's not the friend she was with. It was supposed to be a girl. And when I caught them kissing for about, I don't know, five minutes, then I knew something was up.

Well, when I was parked, I was on the main street, and I was kind of trying to turn to see if it was her. And then when I saw that she got at the car, and I wanted to make sure that this was happening, my gut feeling, and when I saw it, I froze.

Well, after that night, trying to confront her and talk to her, and... asking her to give me time and stuff to like work things out because we have kids and have having her explain what happened that night for those two hours. It was just like, I almost wanted to throw up. I wanted to, I literally drove over to the hotel to confront the guy.

And while I was driving, I was thinking of all these scenarios. And then one was why, why would I even try to hurt him if, I'm going to be in jail. And it's like, yeah, no. That's very wise. So when I found out it was one of my old, old, old friends from elementary school, that's what hurt me the most.

She does. She's been little by little trying to make it better, but then the last couple months it's just been back to normal again with the whole

Pretty much. I can't even listen to certain musics without it triggering memories of going back to that hotel.

How do I handle catching my wife having an affair? And what's the next step? And when I caught them kissing for about, I don't know, five minutes, then I knew something was up.

Part of me, yes, and part of me still has that trust issue.

And they lost a lot of money by mortgaging their fully paid for apartment for leverage in a risky investment, which of course failed. And there's something like $25,000 in the hole. So I guess, my question is I'm thinking about how, how I should manage this. Um, like what's the right thing to do here?

These are the, my future in-laws, like on the one hand, their family, I could pay off their debt, like literally 40 times over. Uh, what I'd be a jerk not to run the other hand, Part of me doesn't really feel like using my money, soon to be our money, to help people who in retirement mortgages are only safe asset for leverage in a single risky investment.

No, I'm just thinking ahead. In fact, my fiance doesn't actually know about the full extent of my wealth, and I haven't really been sure how to explain this to her.

Correct. Interesting. I'm just thinking ahead on what, because I imagine this could come up. Yeah.

Yeah, maybe I should clarify that a little bit more. I think initially, so this came somewhat recently. It was kind of a surprise to me. I had no idea this was coming. And also, I just... There was a part of me that wanted to make sure to feel secure that she's interested in me only because of me and not the fact that I happen to have the pot of gold behind me.

And I live a lifestyle which doesn't at all reflect that I have the pot of gold behind me. Yeah, you can do that in about a week. Yeah.

Right. Yeah. I mean, she knows I'm not suffering. She knows I've never been struggling from anything like that.

Glad to have you. How can we help? Good. Let me try to be brief. So I'm 26 years old. I'm a law student, got no debt, got a job lined up at a big corporate law firm once I graduate. And actually, doing better than that, a few years ago, I inherited about a million dollars. Wow. Nice. Yeah. This inheritance, to me, it's like I treat it like a sacred gift from God.

And I feel like I have a responsibility to be a really excellent steward of it. So I'm very safe. Principal protection investment strategy for this money. It's in a trust account. Only I control it. I got a financial advisor on it. Feeling good about that. Good. Thing one. Thing two, I'm getting married in a few months. I've been dating my now fiance for almost four years.

She's the youngest of many siblings. She has no assets or liabilities of her own, virtually no income potential. She's a pianist, but we're actually happy about this arrangement. She wants to be a mom. I'll be a breadwinner. This seems good. My question is about my future in-laws. So her parents are retired. They actually live in China.

So I started a business and I'm wondering whether or not I need to invest by getting a loan or a lease through my company to build credit for the company.

Okay.

How much money are you making? About 20 a month, 20 grand. Why do you want to give that away to a bank? Well, I don't want to, but I went to a few places, like rental places and things like that, and like, hey, you got to have credit in order to, you know, have a line through them. What are you wanting to rent? So I rent equipment a lot.

Yeah, I've been doing that and been paying for it, but my brother, he's a banker, and he keeps telling me, Oh, the banker told you you need to go in debt.