Nick Jonas

So I apologized and said, it's okay if you do drugs.

I used to do a lot of them back in my Vietnam days.

Again, you gave me a nice smile, but didn't say much.

I changed the subject and inquired about your preference of laundry detergent.

Because I know as a longtime bachelor, stains are all over my clothes.

He says, parentheses, I'm a messy eater.

Oh, thank you.

That's also a good answer.

Before you could answer me, the small Visine bottle fell out of my shirt pocket and Tank went for it.

There I was kneeling on a grocery store floor trying to pry eye drops out of a retired police dog's mouth while maintaining sensual eye contact with a beautiful woman.

Anyway, if you see this, Tank and I would love another shot.

Mostly me.

That's signed Bob Anderson, former naval officer.

And Tank, too.

Those were your Craigslist Missed Connections for the week.

Guys, I want you to imagine me in a sitcom with my dog Bagel, and we're going to a trampoline park.

I don't think dogs are allowed there.

Bagel.

Oh.

We're just both so happy, and he's bouncing before we even get to the trampolines.