Nick Martell

Here's what else you need to know today.

First, the Boston Marathon was yesterday, but someone, something, stole the show in China, Jack.

In Boston, it was won on Patriot Day, again, by John Carrere and Sharon Locchetti of Kenya.

Okay, but over in Beijing, their half marathon was run by a humanoid robot, which beat the human record for a half marathon.

A humanoid robot that runs kind of like a human runs.

Yeah.

Set the record for half marathons by seven minutes, completing the whole thing in 50 minutes.

I'm sorry, but I'm not impressed.

Of course it did.

It's a machine.

Yeah, a car would beat a human in a half marathon too.

Shocker, machines are really fast.

And second, Jersey Mike's confidentially filed to IPO after getting acquired last year by a private equity firm.

And knowing PE like I think I do, every sandwich getting two fewer squirts of vinegar boosts the profit margin, doesn't it, Nick?

Yeah, they're like $200 million more valuable.

You see, when the IPO paperwork gets public, Jack and I will grab a salami Mike's way, head to the beach, and then dive in T-boy style to the finances.

And finally, Lululemon's founder, Chip Wilson, is starting a company to save athleisure brands.

Yeah, a new investment fund.

He's looking for early stage founders who want to make fashionable athletic wear like he did.

Because fashionable athletic wear is kind of out.