Nick Offerman

I could sort of charm people into thinking they should elect me to like student council president or things like that.

When I knew secretly that I was just going to try and steal all the candy bars for me and my friends.

Well, I understand that when you attended the University of Illinois, you would dress up as a carpenter and go to the library to see how many tables you could take apart before somebody stopped you.

And I'm wondering, generally speaking, how many tables were you able to dismantle before being found out?

Usually, I think that our record was probably three.

I forgot about that.

I mean, that was that was before, you know, that was obviously before the Internet.

We needed to find something to do.

And so me and my buddy would go.

And it's it's pretty it's a fun, harmless prank.

I mean, we we always then put the tables back together.

You know, we weren't monsters.

I still feel like there were much more destructive ways we could have been spending our time.

Absolutely.

I think that just to make sure that all the joists are tight is good when you're putting them back together, I assume, right?

Sure.

I mean, that's just good manners.

Now, initially, you thought you would major in music, but everything changed for you when your then born-again Christian girlfriend auditioned for the dance department, and you drove her three hours to the audition.

And while waiting for her, you hung out in the hallway of the Performing Arts Building.

Can you talk a little bit about what happened when you were there?