Nick Pollard

I mean, I get to connect with you over it, which, and to tell you like, this is, this has been like my, I've been excited all week. And, but when you have this idea in your head that you're not enough, that excitement very quickly can turn on you into anxiety.

I mean, I get to connect with you over it, which, and to tell you like, this is, this has been like my, I've been excited all week. And, but when you have this idea in your head that you're not enough, that excitement very quickly can turn on you into anxiety.

Okay, so the first misconception about boundaries is that they're about other people. So boundaries are about how you show up in the world. They have nothing to do with anyone else. They are delineators for what you accept and not accept what you'll tolerate and not tolerate.

Okay, so the first misconception about boundaries is that they're about other people. So boundaries are about how you show up in the world. They have nothing to do with anyone else. They are delineators for what you accept and not accept what you'll tolerate and not tolerate.

Okay, so the first misconception about boundaries is that they're about other people. So boundaries are about how you show up in the world. They have nothing to do with anyone else. They are delineators for what you accept and not accept what you'll tolerate and not tolerate.

and so a boundary doesn't sound like hey don't say that to me it makes me mad a boundary sounds like i have a value system that is around this then how you communicate that is different so for instance i tend to spend my time only with people that i that value kindness if you are an unkind person you have no space in my life so when someone is being unkind i will generally say hey

and so a boundary doesn't sound like hey don't say that to me it makes me mad a boundary sounds like i have a value system that is around this then how you communicate that is different so for instance i tend to spend my time only with people that i that value kindness if you are an unkind person you have no space in my life so when someone is being unkind i will generally say hey

and so a boundary doesn't sound like hey don't say that to me it makes me mad a boundary sounds like i have a value system that is around this then how you communicate that is different so for instance i tend to spend my time only with people that i that value kindness if you are an unkind person you have no space in my life so when someone is being unkind i will generally say hey

I don't appreciate the way that this is happening right now. I'm going to leave the situation. That's how you enforce a boundary, right? So your boundaries are actually based on your value systems. That's kind of the most important misconceptions that like it's a rule book. Boundaries are not a rule book. The other one I hear a lot of is boundaries are about putting yourself first.

I don't appreciate the way that this is happening right now. I'm going to leave the situation. That's how you enforce a boundary, right? So your boundaries are actually based on your value systems. That's kind of the most important misconceptions that like it's a rule book. Boundaries are not a rule book. The other one I hear a lot of is boundaries are about putting yourself first.

I don't appreciate the way that this is happening right now. I'm going to leave the situation. That's how you enforce a boundary, right? So your boundaries are actually based on your value systems. That's kind of the most important misconceptions that like it's a rule book. Boundaries are not a rule book. The other one I hear a lot of is boundaries are about putting yourself first.

And that's horseshit. Boundaries are about making your needs equal to everyone around you. So rather than saying, I'm putting myself first, I have to be selfish. Well, no, you don't have to do any of that. You have to define yourself in equality, which is, okay, my needs are as important as everyone else's. And then you can make decisions based on that data. Right.

And that's horseshit. Boundaries are about making your needs equal to everyone around you. So rather than saying, I'm putting myself first, I have to be selfish. Well, no, you don't have to do any of that. You have to define yourself in equality, which is, okay, my needs are as important as everyone else's. And then you can make decisions based on that data. Right.

And that's horseshit. Boundaries are about making your needs equal to everyone around you. So rather than saying, I'm putting myself first, I have to be selfish. Well, no, you don't have to do any of that. You have to define yourself in equality, which is, okay, my needs are as important as everyone else's. And then you can make decisions based on that data. Right.

So if, for instance, you want to go out for tacos and somebody else wants to go out for pizza, this is not a boundary. Right. But if, you know, one of the things I see a lot with people who've gotten sober is, you know, you'll get a phone call and it's my least favorite question of all time. Well, there's going to be drinking at the party. Is it OK if I drink? I don't. Why am I in charge of that?

So if, for instance, you want to go out for tacos and somebody else wants to go out for pizza, this is not a boundary. Right. But if, you know, one of the things I see a lot with people who've gotten sober is, you know, you'll get a phone call and it's my least favorite question of all time. Well, there's going to be drinking at the party. Is it OK if I drink? I don't. Why am I in charge of that?

So if, for instance, you want to go out for tacos and somebody else wants to go out for pizza, this is not a boundary. Right. But if, you know, one of the things I see a lot with people who've gotten sober is, you know, you'll get a phone call and it's my least favorite question of all time. Well, there's going to be drinking at the party. Is it OK if I drink? I don't. Why am I in charge of that?

So my boundary around this is I am not in charge of other of adults, other, you know, other adults decisions. That's a boundary. I am not in charge of other adults' decisions. That doesn't sound like anybody's got a rule to bend, does it? That's me. I am not in charge of that. So when they call me and say, is it okay if I drink? I say, I am not in charge of other adults' decisions.

So my boundary around this is I am not in charge of other of adults, other, you know, other adults decisions. That's a boundary. I am not in charge of other adults' decisions. That doesn't sound like anybody's got a rule to bend, does it? That's me. I am not in charge of that. So when they call me and say, is it okay if I drink? I say, I am not in charge of other adults' decisions.

So my boundary around this is I am not in charge of other of adults, other, you know, other adults decisions. That's a boundary. I am not in charge of other adults' decisions. That doesn't sound like anybody's got a rule to bend, does it? That's me. I am not in charge of that. So when they call me and say, is it okay if I drink? I say, I am not in charge of other adults' decisions.