Nicole LePera

That's incredibly important for me to produce and have the impact that I'm so passionate about having.

So my life has created the circumstances where at one time that was all I could do.

Worthy.

Now, again, there are still a lot of moments where I feel bound to do and create to have that sense of worthiness.

But what is different is I'm able to show up with more awareness.

I'm able to see that those moments usually happen when I'm under-resourced.

For me, when I'm not sleeping well, eating well, moving my body in the way that I need to, when stress is happening in my life and I'm not taking moments to deal with it or check in with myself, so that I give myself not an erasure of that past, but the choice.

yeah to decide right if and when i still want to act from that very adaptive protective part and i think that's the the goal for all of us is to again know how our past is impacting us we might not know the story necessarily of where it came from but we can sure most of us can see the impact now and instead of having to rely on those old habits give our body the resources so that we can then in new moments

choose right check in and say am i available for this now is it a no instead of the yes that i used to always say tolerate the discomfort of perhaps continuing to build that new habit but now i'm showing up as a super empowered being because back to what you're saying earlier we don't know what comes next

Our body changes, hormones change.

We don't know what it's going to be like to be in an older body, what our relationships will look like.

And so to have that sense of awareness as an on the kind of in the moment possibility is, I think, the only thing that's going to equip us to walk into the unknown future.

I'm happy you're bringing that up because I think whether it becomes a lifestyle where we constantly shame ourselves because we're unmotivated, we're procrastinating, we're not showing ourselves or speaking up in the moments or even the acute moments or relational moments.

We have a sense that the relationship we're in is dysfunctional, it's abusive, or there's active abuse happening and we can't.

advocate or leave the situation.

I think a lot of us carry a lot of shame, either acutely in moments where, oh, I should have done something and protected myself, or just generally where we're not generating the action that we might desperately want or know that we need to.

And so again, all of that is very much the final step on the chain of nervous system reactions.

When a stressful event happens, an unpredictable threat comes, our body will first activate into action.

So we can overcome the threat by fighting it or flee the threat.

Now, fighting can look like words, verbal, you know, kind of fighting or physical fighting.