Nicole McNichols

There's more of an acknowledgement of raw desire without having to feel ashamed for that desire because men are not ashamed for casual sex as women are.

But it all points to this really interesting fact that a lot of times what turns us on in our heads, what we fantasize about, isn't necessarily a direct reflection of what we want in real life.

And this is so true that more modern models of sexual orientation, for example, if you are interested in looking into this, check out sexual configurations theory, shows that

Our fantasies and what we are drawn to in our heads so often is so distinct from the experiences we desire in real life that that really needs to be incorporated in to how we think about our sexual orientation.

that it's no longer just what gender you're attracted to, but this acknowledgement that maybe you're attracted to just men or just women when you're having sex face to face, but what you fantasize about or what you enjoy in porn might be same gendered sexual experiences.

And the idea is that that doesn't make you weird.

That doesn't mean that you're lying to yourself.

That doesn't mean that you're confused.

fused, it just means that you are beautifully human and that we all have really interesting sexual configurations.

Okay, but just to play devil's advocate, right?

Is it the fact that they've become habituated to straight porn and so now are going to something more extreme to get the same hit?

Or is it just that they've realized that watching gay male porn is fun, that's part of their sexual configuration, but because as a culture we feel so uncomfortable with that, we want to stigmatize and say that it's actually a signal of a problem.

Yes.

Yeah.

Who knows?

Who knows?

Yes, pegging.

I think it's both.

So it taps into something that's also fundamental to human sexuality, which is erotic power play, which is kind of at the basis of all kink and BDSM.

But what people don't realize is that we tend to think of being kinky as either you are kinky or you're not kinky.