Nicole McNichols

But the reality is kink is kind of a continuum, right?

Even if you're talking about what, by the way, I think is the most underrated sexual activity, which is kissing, there's always going to be a leader and a follower, right?

Or we all have fantasies about another person ravishing us and us just surrendering.

Or we become the person that takes over and controls the situation and the other person just succumbs.

These are at the very heart of our fantasies and the types of media that really turn us on.

So pegging is just kind of taking that almost to another even more taboo level.

And the idea is just that, first of all, we always tend to get really turned on by that which is taboo.

If you consider the fact that oftentimes the roles that we want to play in our sexual lives are counterbalanced to the roles that we want to play in our real life.

So for example, take the politician, the CEO who is running the show, and then

seeks out the dominatrix.

And if you ask dominatrixes, I've had them speak in my class on this very topic, they'll report that a lot of their clients are just those people who have all these responsibilities during their day.

And so when they come to see the dominatrix, it's not even a question of having sex.

They just want to surrender from that responsibility and have someone yell at them and tell them what to do.

That's what feels good and exciting and arousing at the time.

and same thing for a person who might feel like they don't have a lot of control in the rest of their lives where they feel like they're having to follow the orders of other people around them they in their sexual life may have this emotional need of wanting to take charge being unashamed not having to be the good girl allowing to be sort of wild and out there and free you know different than the person that's the good mother the good wife the good sister

So if you look at pegging, right, and let's say the most common dynamic in the context of like a straight couple, which would be the woman doing the pegging, so wearing the strap on with the dildo and then anally penetrating her male husband or partner, boyfriend, whatever.

or one night stand, whatever it may be.

The idea is that she's getting turned on by taking this position of the male dominant aggressor.

He's getting turned on by now suddenly being the subservient one that's surrendering, that is giving up that control.

Suddenly,