Nikki Glaser

It was a Michael Jackson song. I just didn't know the words to. Everyone else seemed to. And he put the mic in my face. Oh, no. Usher, if you would have given me one of your songs, I would have nailed it. But I don't know this obscure. It was to me. This is literally my nightmare. So that already happened. This is not live on TV, but it's the whole audience. It was at the Dolby or something.

It was a Michael Jackson song. I just didn't know the words to. Everyone else seemed to. And he put the mic in my face. Oh, no. Usher, if you would have given me one of your songs, I would have nailed it. But I don't know this obscure. It was to me. This is literally my nightmare. So that already happened. This is not live on TV, but it's the whole audience. It was at the Dolby or something.

It's thousands of people. And it's kind of after the show and Usher is just dancing. And so I had to do this awkward dance. And then I was like, Usher, can I just have the mic? I just need to do one thing I'm good at, which is talking into a mic. So I was like, can I just say how embarrassing that just was? I got last on Dancing with the Stars. I did my Dancing with the Stars bit.

It's thousands of people. And it's kind of after the show and Usher is just dancing. And so I had to do this awkward dance. And then I was like, Usher, can I just have the mic? I just need to do one thing I'm good at, which is talking into a mic. So I was like, can I just say how embarrassing that just was? I got last on Dancing with the Stars. I did my Dancing with the Stars bit.

It's thousands of people. And it's kind of after the show and Usher is just dancing. And so I had to do this awkward dance. And then I was like, Usher, can I just have the mic? I just need to do one thing I'm good at, which is talking into a mic. So I was like, can I just say how embarrassing that just was? I got last on Dancing with the Stars. I did my Dancing with the Stars bit.

I always say on Dancing with the Stars, I got first voted off. And I say in front of my dance partner, Gleb Shevchenko, who is as hot as his name is disgusting. And so I have my bits. I wasn't trying to make it about me. I was just trying to get a couple jokes in. And I go, everyone in the audience, I want you to know what I'm feeling right now.

I always say on Dancing with the Stars, I got first voted off. And I say in front of my dance partner, Gleb Shevchenko, who is as hot as his name is disgusting. And so I have my bits. I wasn't trying to make it about me. I was just trying to get a couple jokes in. And I go, everyone in the audience, I want you to know what I'm feeling right now.

I always say on Dancing with the Stars, I got first voted off. And I say in front of my dance partner, Gleb Shevchenko, who is as hot as his name is disgusting. And so I have my bits. I wasn't trying to make it about me. I was just trying to get a couple jokes in. And I go, everyone in the audience, I want you to know what I'm feeling right now.

The thing you're worst at in the world that has been determined on ABC that you are terrible at. And you have to do it in front of Usher. And I go, Machine Gun Kelly? And... And I forgot Megan Fox's name. As I'm saying Machine Gun Kelly, I'm going, and it was probably to me, 20 seconds of like, what is her? And at the last second, it just Megan Fox, but it was so close.

The thing you're worst at in the world that has been determined on ABC that you are terrible at. And you have to do it in front of Usher. And I go, Machine Gun Kelly? And... And I forgot Megan Fox's name. As I'm saying Machine Gun Kelly, I'm going, and it was probably to me, 20 seconds of like, what is her? And at the last second, it just Megan Fox, but it was so close.

The thing you're worst at in the world that has been determined on ABC that you are terrible at. And you have to do it in front of Usher. And I go, Machine Gun Kelly? And... And I forgot Megan Fox's name. As I'm saying Machine Gun Kelly, I'm going, and it was probably to me, 20 seconds of like, what is her? And at the last second, it just Megan Fox, but it was so close.

And I go, what would have happened had I not remembered? That's why I can't fucking just riff. Like I can't be trusted. It's like your life flashes before your eyes. I'm not remembering Megan Fox's fucking name. But thankfully it came out. But one of those moments, you're always putting yourself in bad situations.

And I go, what would have happened had I not remembered? That's why I can't fucking just riff. Like I can't be trusted. It's like your life flashes before your eyes. I'm not remembering Megan Fox's fucking name. But thankfully it came out. But one of those moments, you're always putting yourself in bad situations.

And I go, what would have happened had I not remembered? That's why I can't fucking just riff. Like I can't be trusted. It's like your life flashes before your eyes. I'm not remembering Megan Fox's fucking name. But thankfully it came out. But one of those moments, you're always putting yourself in bad situations.

Risky. Even last night. Yeah.

Risky. Even last night. Yeah.

Risky. Even last night. Yeah.

That's what I learned from the corporate gig I did in October. That was the worst I've ever bombed in recent memory. Tell us that. It was more money than I've been offered for a gig ever. You know, can't turn it down kind of money.

That's what I learned from the corporate gig I did in October. That was the worst I've ever bombed in recent memory. Tell us that. It was more money than I've been offered for a gig ever. You know, can't turn it down kind of money.

That's what I learned from the corporate gig I did in October. That was the worst I've ever bombed in recent memory. Tell us that. It was more money than I've been offered for a gig ever. You know, can't turn it down kind of money.