Nikki Glaser

Uh, you mean physically?

Oh, okay.

Oh, okay.

Okay.

Okay, so you've never subbed.

You've never been a substitute teacher.

What if she asked you to drink milk out like a cat?

That's fun.

Yeah.

Okay.

Well.

Baby girl.

Okay.

What did Taylor Swift, good old Taylor Swift, say to Nikki in response to her apology?

Her apology said, I love Taylor Swift.

Unfortunately, I am featured in her documentary as part of a montage of asshats saying mean things about her, which is used to explain why she felt the need to escape from the spotlight for a year.

It's insanely ironic because anyone who knows me knows I'm obnoxiously obsessed with her and her music.

The soundbite was from an interview I did five years ago, and I say in such a shitty tone, she's too skinny, it bothers me, all of her model friends, and it's just like, come on.

This quote should be used as an example of projection in Psych 101 textbooks.

If you're familiar with my, quote, work at all, you know I talk openly about battling some kind of eating disorder for the past 17 years.