Nimesh Patel

And he's telling me he was up like, he's managing $10 billion and he's up 70% on the year. I'm like, you're up $700 million? He's like, no man, that's $7 billion. I was like, oh yeah.

Yeah, look, that's Trump's DEI, Indian people, the dick-eating Indians. Dude, there's so many Indians that love Donald Trump, like Vivek Ramaswamy. Yeah. Some Indians, yeah. Another Harvard guy. Was he a Harvard guy? I'm pretty sure he's a Harvard guy. I mean, what a herb. If you don't know what a herb is, a herb is what we called people in the 90s when they were being herbs. Like, he's a herb.

Yeah, look, that's Trump's DEI, Indian people, the dick-eating Indians. Dude, there's so many Indians that love Donald Trump, like Vivek Ramaswamy. Yeah. Some Indians, yeah. Another Harvard guy. Was he a Harvard guy? I'm pretty sure he's a Harvard guy. I mean, what a herb. If you don't know what a herb is, a herb is what we called people in the 90s when they were being herbs. Like, he's a herb.

He ran for president and lost, obviously. And he ran for president, and his main thing, his opening line was, God is real. Why'd he make you 5'7", Vivek? That's the guy. I don't know if he's 5'7", but he has 5'7 energy. And then... I won't say his name again because if you say it more than three times, he just pops up behind you. Yeah, he pops up under the desk.

He ran for president and lost, obviously. And he ran for president, and his main thing, his opening line was, God is real. Why'd he make you 5'7", Vivek? That's the guy. I don't know if he's 5'7", but he has 5'7 energy. And then... I won't say his name again because if you say it more than three times, he just pops up behind you. Yeah, he pops up under the desk.

And then there's Usha Vance. Usha Vance, yeah. Who I'm praying for. I'm hoping she has Stockholm Syndrome because otherwise... Why is she with J.D.

And then there's Usha Vance. Usha Vance, yeah. Who I'm praying for. I'm hoping she has Stockholm Syndrome because otherwise... Why is she with J.D.

She has to. And then... And then, of course, of course... The king. Kash Patel. I'm not saying shit about Kash Patel. I'm not trying to get one of these one-way tickets to El Salvador. But everyone else was fed game. If you don't know Kash Patel, you guys don't seem that concerned. But every Indian knows Kash Patel. But if you don't know him, he's the director of the FBI.

She has to. And then... And then, of course, of course... The king. Kash Patel. I'm not saying shit about Kash Patel. I'm not trying to get one of these one-way tickets to El Salvador. But everyone else was fed game. If you don't know Kash Patel, you guys don't seem that concerned. But every Indian knows Kash Patel. But if you don't know him, he's the director of the FBI.

And people don't seem worried about him. But his real name is Kashyap Pramod Vinod Patel. He grew up in racist-ass Long Island with the name Kashyap Pramod Vinod Patel. He is out for revenge. You should be very concerned. I'm not a man, I'm not a fan of the guy's politics, but if I get pulled over, that is my cousin. You don't see the resemblance?

And people don't seem worried about him. But his real name is Kashyap Pramod Vinod Patel. He grew up in racist-ass Long Island with the name Kashyap Pramod Vinod Patel. He is out for revenge. You should be very concerned. I'm not a man, I'm not a fan of the guy's politics, but if I get pulled over, that is my cousin. You don't see the resemblance?

I am going on tour soon. It's either, I mean, I need money. Okay. Like, I just had a kid. Congratulations, new father. Thank you. She is the biggest terror on my life. How old is she? She's six months old. Oh, new baby. She's fantastic. Putting her hands to work right away. She's busy making a phone right now. Okay. But in America.

I am going on tour soon. It's either, I mean, I need money. Okay. Like, I just had a kid. Congratulations, new father. Thank you. She is the biggest terror on my life. How old is she? She's six months old. Oh, new baby. She's fantastic. Putting her hands to work right away. She's busy making a phone right now. Okay. But in America.

But, like, it's either that or commit white-collar crime. Like, I need to tour or commit white-collar crime. Doesn't seem like a ripe time to commit white-collar crime. This is the golden age of white-collar crime. This is, like, we should be embezzling. We should be ponzing right now. Oh, we are. We are. How do you insider trade? I need to know.

But, like, it's either that or commit white-collar crime. Like, I need to tour or commit white-collar crime. Doesn't seem like a ripe time to commit white-collar crime. This is the golden age of white-collar crime. This is, like, we should be embezzling. We should be ponzing right now. Oh, we are. We are. How do you insider trade? I need to know.

And you can get a few good tips on that platform. You can't commit an SEC violation if the SEC doesn't exist. You know what I mean? So let's steal. No, but I'm touring. I'm going to like... That was a step too far for the crowd. I know.

And you can get a few good tips on that platform. You can't commit an SEC violation if the SEC doesn't exist. You know what I mean? So let's steal. No, but I'm touring. I'm going to like... That was a step too far for the crowd. I know.

Our Robin Hoods are safe. No. I'm going on tour. I'm going to, like, a bunch of, I'm starting at a bunch of clubs, because you know how it is. You got to build the set at a bunch of clubs, talk a bunch of shit, crash out. Yeah. And then... Oh, some young people in the room. Good. Crashing out, sir, is when you say some shit that you shouldn't say. I'm going to be doing that at a lot of shows.

Our Robin Hoods are safe. No. I'm going on tour. I'm going to, like, a bunch of, I'm starting at a bunch of clubs, because you know how it is. You got to build the set at a bunch of clubs, talk a bunch of shit, crash out. Yeah. And then... Oh, some young people in the room. Good. Crashing out, sir, is when you say some shit that you shouldn't say. I'm going to be doing that at a lot of shows.

I'm not going to go full Kanye. I think this whole interview has been a definition.