Nir Eyal

You can't even see your own reality clearly.

How can you see theirs?

I'll give you a very practical tool that we use all the time that I think has been awesome.

is we try and assess how important something is to one of us.

So we don't fight.

We've been married now 25 years in September.

And sometimes I get this question and I tell people, we don't fight.

We disagree, but we never fight.

There's never that.

And the secret to that of why we don't, we don't even argue, to be honest.

We have conversations because I so value her perspective that of course, if she thinks differently for me, amazing.

That's like a huge asset.

that we have different perspectives because now I can see reality more clearly.

It's a gift, not something to be feared.

So one thing we've done in order to better assess what is unspoken is to ask each other a simple question.

So when we have a difference of opinion on something and I say, hey, I'd really like it to be this way.

And she says, you know, no, I want it to be that way.

We ask ourselves, well, do a one to 10 for me on that.

Do a one to 10 for me on that.

What does that mean?