Nir Eyal

But this can also work in reverse where we look for a person's tendency of there, she's doing that thing again.

And there she, you know, so we're building our perception of them.

So here's what happened.

So instead of me venting, I didn't vent.

I sat down and I did a turnaround.

Here's how a turnaround works.

This is called inquiry-based stress reduction.

It's a technique that was pioneered by Byron Katie.

I'm sure many of your listeners will know her, but she actually was channeling a technique that's over 2000 years old.

Aristotle did something very similar, but she kind of really perfected it.

Here's how it works.

I took that belief, my mother's too judgmental and hard to please, and I wrote it down.

And then Katie asks us to ask four questions of ourselves.

The first question is, is that belief true?

My mother is too judgmental and hard to please.

Obviously, what a stupid question.

What was Katie thinking, right?

Obviously, my mother is being too judgmental and hard to please.

That's a dumb question.

Let's skip that one.