Nir Eyal

When we feel like we've been grieved, we have to speak our truth.

We have to tell people how we feel.

We're not supposed to hold our feelings inside, right?

Well, actually, the literature shows that's exactly wrong.

That when we vent, we are doing nothing but solidifying this effigy.

We're building this effigy of a person because we don't see people as they are.

We see people as we are.

That's the only way the brain can process information is based on its prediction.

It's called predictive processing.

So we see people based on what we believe about them.

There she goes again.

She's doing it again.

This is such a pattern.

This has always happened.

There's always, that's why we don't see people clearly, especially the ones who are closest to us, who we have this whole record of all their past behaviors and our interpretations, our judgments of those behaviors.

So I knew enough to not vent.

And instead, I decided to do a turnaround.

Here's how a turnaround works.

And this is called inquiry-based stress reduction.

It's a technique that was first developed by Byron Katie.