Ocean Vuong

He says, coming from the working poor, it takes decades of learning to realize what happened to you. And by the time you realize it, It's too late. Like right now, my grandma's dead, my uncle's dead, my mom's dead. You know, it's almost like there's a kind of helplessness to that realization. And so I think I've kind of come to an end of understanding all that, but it feels too late.

I think it's a lot of grief. You know, you enter these rooms and even with my colleagues, they're all lovely, but it's hard to explain what we were talking about in our first interview. Like I don't, I never say that stuff because I feel like it's going to stop the room or people are going to, I just feel like I'm always kind of really alone in these spaces.

I think it's a lot of grief. You know, you enter these rooms and even with my colleagues, they're all lovely, but it's hard to explain what we were talking about in our first interview. Like I don't, I never say that stuff because I feel like it's going to stop the room or people are going to, I just feel like I'm always kind of really alone in these spaces.

And then when I come home, no one cares because

And then when I come home, no one cares because

Like two years ago, I was bailing out my cousin, like truly bailing him out in a bail bond office who was having a mental health crisis. It was really bad. And police were being called. And I get a call from my aunt saying, it's like 1 a.m., come to this 24-hour bail bond. And I go, and I've never bailed anybody out. And I'm like, MacArthur genius? Who cares? New Yorker? Who cares?

Like two years ago, I was bailing out my cousin, like truly bailing him out in a bail bond office who was having a mental health crisis. It was really bad. And police were being called. And I get a call from my aunt saying, it's like 1 a.m., come to this 24-hour bail bond. And I go, and I've never bailed anybody out. And I'm like, MacArthur genius? Who cares? New Yorker? Who cares?

None of that had any traction. I don't even know how to fill out a bail bond form. And I'm just like completely lost. Nobody cares what I do. And I think in a way that's refreshing, like I don't come home as Ocean Vuong, the writer. I come home as Ocean, the nephew, the cousin, the cousin who's gonna bail me out, the cousin who's gonna buy my new Yeezys that I saw online, you know, whatever.

None of that had any traction. I don't even know how to fill out a bail bond form. And I'm just like completely lost. Nobody cares what I do. And I think in a way that's refreshing, like I don't come home as Ocean Vuong, the writer. I come home as Ocean, the nephew, the cousin, the cousin who's gonna bail me out, the cousin who's gonna buy my new Yeezys that I saw online, you know, whatever.

So it's refreshing, but there's no place that I'm recognized as a person other than like my close circle of friends who are also mostly not writers. And, you know, if I were to think about it further, David, like philosophically, I would maybe even push to say maybe none of us have a place. You know, like how much are we performing? We talk to our mother differently.

So it's refreshing, but there's no place that I'm recognized as a person other than like my close circle of friends who are also mostly not writers. And, you know, if I were to think about it further, David, like philosophically, I would maybe even push to say maybe none of us have a place. You know, like how much are we performing? We talk to our mother differently.

We talk to our dean differently. We talk to our friends, our lovers. We're constantly code switching. And one thing I'm interested in as a writer is like, is there a center to me? Is there a center to you? Or are we just a matrix of instances? You know, it gets really heady. But on some days I feel like, all right, I am who I am. And some days I'm like, I think I'm just a series of utterances.

We talk to our dean differently. We talk to our friends, our lovers. We're constantly code switching. And one thing I'm interested in as a writer is like, is there a center to me? Is there a center to you? Or are we just a matrix of instances? You know, it gets really heady. But on some days I feel like, all right, I am who I am. And some days I'm like, I think I'm just a series of utterances.

But you don't want to go down that route too much. You might have to call your therapist.

But you don't want to go down that route too much. You might have to call your therapist.

That's how we arrived.

That's how we arrived.

I am, right? I mean, every day has been a nail-biter, and I'm in kind of survival mode for them. And I just said, just, please just put your head down. It's so crazy, David, because I've said in the past, I said, our elders put their heads down so that the next generation can be known, can do what they want. I don't have to be a doctor or a lawyer. You know, I can be a poet.

I am, right? I mean, every day has been a nail-biter, and I'm in kind of survival mode for them. And I just said, just, please just put your head down. It's so crazy, David, because I've said in the past, I said, our elders put their heads down so that the next generation can be known, can do what they want. I don't have to be a doctor or a lawyer. You know, I can be a poet.

But here I am, the second generation or the 1.5 or whatever, telling my elders, please put your head down. Please just go to work. Don't get a speeding ticket until further notice. But the suspicion has always been there, you know, of government, of power. And I think this is true with a lot of Vietnamese refugees and refugees in general. In a lot of ways, it hurt us.