Old Spice Guy
Appearances
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Super Week: Cam Jordan, Matthew Berry, Will Shields, NY Jets, Warrick Dunn
When I think about Old Spice, when I think about football in general, about the trench warfare that goes on between offensive linemen, defensive linemen, coming in after practice, hot, sticky, upset. You know, you're showering, and even after showers, you've sort of got that, like, I'm still sweating feeling. That's why you need something like a game changer, right?
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Super Week: Cam Jordan, Matthew Berry, Will Shields, NY Jets, Warrick Dunn
Old Spice has reinvented the game again. You know, when you think about the deodorant game, you think about how you just apply deodorant. No, no, no. This is a sweat-absorbing, total body dry-filled deodorant here. What are you talking about? You can use it anywhere. 24-7 total body freshness. I mean, pits, sure. Chest, yeah. You know, lower back, most likely for a big guy.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Super Week: Cam Jordan, Matthew Berry, Will Shields, NY Jets, Warrick Dunn
I mean, I'm not going to say that I just keep one on me, but I keep one on me. Madder and sandalwood. It is what it is. It gives you a nice little freshness. You know, I've been walking. Somebody was like, oh, you smell nice. I was like, don't worry, sweetheart. It's just mandarin sandalwood.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Super Week: Cam Jordan, Matthew Berry, Will Shields, NY Jets, Warrick Dunn
No, check it out.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Super Week: Cam Jordan, Matthew Berry, Will Shields, NY Jets, Warrick Dunn
It's going to give you like, oh. It's almost mojito-esque.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Super Week: Cam Jordan, Matthew Berry, Will Shields, NY Jets, Warrick Dunn
It's nice. I mean, when you think about total body freshness, you think about what you want to do coming off of a great game. You want to smell nice as well, and that's going to give it to you.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Super Week: Cam Jordan, Matthew Berry, Will Shields, NY Jets, Warrick Dunn
Apply anywhere. See as you see fit.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Super Week: Cam Jordan, Matthew Berry, Will Shields, NY Jets, Warrick Dunn
It's not a massive box. This is my guy I'm walking around with.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Super Week: Cam Jordan, Matthew Berry, Will Shields, NY Jets, Warrick Dunn
Come on. It's the wise Old Spice guy. Right. Can Old Spice total body deodorant may or may not make my dad jokes hit a little bit better? And there we have him.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Super Week: Cam Jordan, Matthew Berry, Will Shields, NY Jets, Warrick Dunn
Why ask this, guys?
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Super Week: Cam Jordan, Matthew Berry, Will Shields, NY Jets, Warrick Dunn
Who do we have winning this game?
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Super Week: Cam Jordan, Matthew Berry, Will Shields, NY Jets, Warrick Dunn
Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. I've always wanted to be like, and I'm on a horse. Gosh darn it.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Super Week: Cam Jordan, Matthew Berry, Will Shields, NY Jets, Warrick Dunn
Have you met him before? Absolutely not. Who has met a myth? You don't meet myths?
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Super Week: Cam Jordan, Matthew Berry, Will Shields, NY Jets, Warrick Dunn
Yeah, you didn't ride a horse in it, and I'm sort of like, that's why they say never meet your heroes.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Super Week: Cam Jordan, Matthew Berry, Will Shields, NY Jets, Warrick Dunn
You know, it's mini you in a box. You know, when we say Old Spice Guy, now I sort of want to throw this one away because we have the Old Spice Guy.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Super Week: Cam Jordan, Matthew Berry, Will Shields, NY Jets, Warrick Dunn
That's a foul proposition, which we both know the answer is clearly yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When you think about the bourbon cherry scents that also have the new scented flavors, come on, you're going to have to think that we're always going to stay fresh. You have to stay fresh, you never have to get fresh.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Super Week: Cam Jordan, Matthew Berry, Will Shields, NY Jets, Warrick Dunn
He is. No, no, no.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Super Week: Cam Jordan, Matthew Berry, Will Shields, NY Jets, Warrick Dunn
I've always wanted to be. The Old Spice guy.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Super Week: Cam Jordan, Matthew Berry, Will Shields, NY Jets, Warrick Dunn
Nobody knows your first name. That's true.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Super Week: Cam Jordan, Matthew Berry, Will Shields, NY Jets, Warrick Dunn
Swan dive. Into total body freshness.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Super Week: Cam Jordan, Matthew Berry, Will Shields, NY Jets, Warrick Dunn
I mean, I also wanted to be Green Lantern, and they just gave that away to a British guy. John Stewart is an American military man, and we gave it away to a British guy. Undoubtedly, he has green eyes, so kudos to him.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Super Week: Cam Jordan, Matthew Berry, Will Shields, NY Jets, Warrick Dunn
I just feel like, yeah, when you think about New Orleans, you think about good times, and you think about hand grenades and the hurricane drinks, right? And of course, King Cake. When I think about Total Body Spice, do I think about Swagger, MVP? Do I think about Cherry Bourbon or Manners Heavenwood? I think about the Old Spice guy.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Super Week: Cam Jordan, Matthew Berry, Will Shields, NY Jets, Warrick Dunn
Nobody wants to be A when you can be V. Yeah.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Super Week: Cam Jordan, Matthew Berry, Will Shields, NY Jets, Warrick Dunn
The answer's no.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Super Week: Cam Jordan, Matthew Berry, Will Shields, NY Jets, Warrick Dunn
It's like he saw the inner depths of my soul. I didn't apply enough deodorant to cover me, and that's on me. He felt your vibe.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Super Week: Cam Jordan, Matthew Berry, Will Shields, NY Jets, Warrick Dunn
Come on. The first thing you have to do, other than marvel at my city, is go find yourself a great king cake. You know, Mardi Gras season is upon us.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Super Week: Cam Jordan, Matthew Berry, Will Shields, NY Jets, Warrick Dunn
So, of course, it's, you know, finding a great place you can get crawfish at. That's fine. For me, I'm a desserts guy. So, king cake is right up there. Ooey gooey cake, elite. Go get you a praline.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Super Week: Cam Jordan, Matthew Berry, Will Shields, NY Jets, Warrick Dunn
You know, if you like confectioner's sweet, I'm not going to say you're at the age where you probably enjoy candy corn.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Super Week: Cam Jordan, Matthew Berry, Will Shields, NY Jets, Warrick Dunn
So yeah, if you're a candy corn guy, you're going to love it probably.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Super Week: Cam Jordan, Matthew Berry, Will Shields, NY Jets, Warrick Dunn
So those are my top three sweets you got to go get you some.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Super Week: Cam Jordan, Matthew Berry, Will Shields, NY Jets, Warrick Dunn
It's like, you know how, like, the emotion, the EQ of kids is so much higher of a threshold than it is when we were growing up, when I was growing up, when you guys were growing up? Yeah. It's just like the sweets. You know, there is an age limit. Like, some guys will never know. Kids born after 2000 are never going to know about Charleston Chews, Boston Baked Beans, and the likes of candy corn.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Super Week: Cam Jordan, Matthew Berry, Will Shields, NY Jets, Warrick Dunn
I grew up watching my parents eat those types of things, and I was like, baked beans. Nobody wants Boston baked beans as a candy.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Super Week: Cam Jordan, Matthew Berry, Will Shields, NY Jets, Warrick Dunn
Like, just go get you a sugar packet, my guy.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Super Week: Cam Jordan, Matthew Berry, Will Shields, NY Jets, Warrick Dunn
For ad-libs, just like that.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Super Week: Cam Jordan, Matthew Berry, Will Shields, NY Jets, Warrick Dunn
I can't even... Hello, lady.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Super Week: Cam Jordan, Matthew Berry, Will Shields, NY Jets, Warrick Dunn
When I grew up and I looked at myself in the mirror, I was like, I'm going to have the most incredible voice ever. I'm 6'4", 275 pounds, as a 17-year-old and as a senior in high school. And I was like, hell yeah, the voice is coming. And then, like... Just think about when it dropped. Boys dropped, so this is where it dropped to. We were up here for a while. Sounded like Mickey Mouse.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Super Week: Cam Jordan, Matthew Berry, Will Shields, NY Jets, Warrick Dunn
And I was like, this is not, this is not.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Super Week: Cam Jordan, Matthew Berry, Will Shields, NY Jets, Warrick Dunn
Again, God gives all the soldiers, you know, every gift.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Super Week: Cam Jordan, Matthew Berry, Will Shields, NY Jets, Warrick Dunn
Yeah, we didn't catch a Calais Campbell. We didn't catch the old Spice Man.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Super Week: Cam Jordan, Matthew Berry, Will Shields, NY Jets, Warrick Dunn
Like, I can't even get that low. He's like, how you doing?
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Super Week: Cam Jordan, Matthew Berry, Will Shields, NY Jets, Warrick Dunn
Gosh darn it.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Super Week: Cam Jordan, Matthew Berry, Will Shields, NY Jets, Warrick Dunn
I don't know about that one. The pecs are percolating, you know?
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Super Week: Cam Jordan, Matthew Berry, Will Shields, NY Jets, Warrick Dunn
I might take him.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Super Week: Cam Jordan, Matthew Berry, Will Shields, NY Jets, Warrick Dunn
I've got four. His house seems a little bit cleaner.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Super Week: Cam Jordan, Matthew Berry, Will Shields, NY Jets, Warrick Dunn
Two is easy. It's three when they get like a conscientious no. Two, they're just like, no, no, no. Three is like, no, because I said so. If this was 1990s when I was growing up, I would have been cocked back on you. 2000, what do we say? Hey, you don't say that.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Super Week: Cam Jordan, Matthew Berry, Will Shields, NY Jets, Warrick Dunn
Breathe. We do breathing exercises in the 2020s.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Super Week: Cam Jordan, Matthew Berry, Will Shields, NY Jets, Warrick Dunn
We punish them with candy corn. You should. That's what you have to do.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Super Week: Cam Jordan, Matthew Berry, Will Shields, NY Jets, Warrick Dunn
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Super Week: Cam Jordan, Matthew Berry, Will Shields, NY Jets, Warrick Dunn
I'll say, I reward them. I'm like, and who wants to smell like Mandarin Sandalwood? Any takers? Knowing good and well, you know, my 9-year-old is like, yeah, I love smelling clean. You know, he gets dirty, and at the same time, he's like, Dad, what are we wearing? I'm like, wow. What are we wearing? Choose one, Bo. Is it MVP, is it swagger, or is it now cherry bourbon?
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Super Week: Cam Jordan, Matthew Berry, Will Shields, NY Jets, Warrick Dunn
Just in case you need it or just like you'll never need it. All heroes need a cape.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Super Week: Cam Jordan, Matthew Berry, Will Shields, NY Jets, Warrick Dunn
Come on.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Super Week: Cam Jordan, Matthew Berry, Will Shields, NY Jets, Warrick Dunn
Win or lose. He said, but of course my fresh friend. He's on the outs.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Super Week: Cam Jordan, Matthew Berry, Will Shields, NY Jets, Warrick Dunn
I now know what it feels like to have a head coach get fired. Win, lose, or draw.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Super Week: Cam Jordan, Matthew Berry, Will Shields, NY Jets, Warrick Dunn
Wow.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Super Week: Cam Jordan, Matthew Berry, Will Shields, NY Jets, Warrick Dunn
Through nothing but time. Because as the sage of an Old Spice guy I'm carrying, you have to respect the OGs of the game. So if he ever decided to unfortunately just live out his age, I'd be like, and now my son can take over. We'll both be long gone. I think he's calling you old.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Super Week: Cam Jordan, Matthew Berry, Will Shields, NY Jets, Warrick Dunn
I am. And now you're speaking my realm. You know, I drop it in the kitchen.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Super Week: Cam Jordan, Matthew Berry, Will Shields, NY Jets, Warrick Dunn
Yes, there's a team. There's two teams playing on Sunday. Yes, it's going to be a high scoring game. The Old Spice guy told me so. Right. No, you don't have to be nervous about it, because again, if you have a question, you can always apply the total body deodorant that is Old Spice, as well as ask my guy if you have a real question.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Super Week: Cam Jordan, Matthew Berry, Will Shields, NY Jets, Warrick Dunn
I was like, right is always right.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Super Week: Cam Jordan, Matthew Berry, Will Shields, NY Jets, Warrick Dunn
I appreciate you.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Super Week: Cam Jordan, Matthew Berry, Will Shields, NY Jets, Warrick Dunn
I appreciate that. And I love you.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Super Week: Cam Jordan, Matthew Berry, Will Shields, NY Jets, Warrick Dunn
We're going to be very intrepid about the usage of love.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Super Week: Cam Jordan, Matthew Berry, Will Shields, NY Jets, Warrick Dunn
I deeply enjoy your company.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Super Week: Cam Jordan, Matthew Berry, Will Shields, NY Jets, Warrick Dunn
I have a deep affection for everyone. But will retain my love for the ones that I truly love. Damn it.