Olivia Coughlin

Jill Biden is a historic figure.

She was a first lady and a fake doctor.

And during the Biden administration, she actually took over presidential duties, historically becoming the first fake female president of the United States of America.

The Biden administration was kind of like America's Next Top Model, but for female presidents, with different random women all taking turns trying out his power.

It was a shit show, and Jill won.

So speaking of America, I came home the other day, and I found my cleaner eating my salad.

She was in the kitchen, hunched over, eating out of the takeout box.

And I walked in.

And then she freaked out when she saw me and ran to put it away.

And was like, ow, media!

And I forgot my bit.

I forgot the rest of it.

Sorry.

Oh, and I didn't realize, I didn't know what was going on at first because I didn't realize it was my salad she was eating.

I thought she was just eating her own food.

I thought people would know more if I said cleaner rather than house cleaner.

I don't know why, because...

I call her my cleaner.

I'm white.

I'm mostly Irish.