Oprah Winfrey

Yes.

They were very open to talking about it.

What I found often were the people who were saying they didn't feel like they mattered, they were going through a life transition.

So either they had lost a loved one that they felt very valued by or maybe facing an empty nest or maybe they'd lost a job.

or relocated, I experienced that myself when I was a newlywed moving to London.

When you go through a transition, we tend to personalize the experience.

We think, oh, it's so painful.

There must be something wrong with me that I'm not coping well with this change.

But transitions in and of themselves are a hard thing to do, right?

We're going from one role to another role.

And if we can look at them through the lens of mattering, that offers us a pathway through the transition.

So if you're going through a painful transition, look for role models.

Look for people who have gone through something similar.

And gotten through it.

And gotten through it.

Use their life as almost like a blueprint for yourself, a little map.

And then there's one other thing that I write about in the book is the power of invitation.

So it is accepting invitations and issuing invitations.

When we are going through something hard, we are often reluctant to reach out to people or to accept because we feel like we have to get our lives together.

But there's research called the beautiful mess effect, which is the idea that we think we need to be perfect to be loved.