Ore Oduba

It's quite cult-like.

And I remember feeling that even as a teenager.

And thinking, well, I mean, I don't think I've got a problem, but I know that this is where I feel safe almost.

Like this is where I come back to when I'm feeling however it is that I might be feeling as a teenager with hormones, with girls, my feeling being rejected from girls, but I can always come back to this.

It's always there whenever I need it, whenever I need to feel something, or maybe I'm going around in the day and I see something that's a trigger.

I can go straight back to that material and I can recreate it.

This is the exact experience for drug addicts.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And when I first spoke about this to my therapist, because I, it was just tearing my life apart and it kind of got to the point of complete despair and nonchalance almost like it was always going to be, it got to the point finally where it was going to be easier to get better than live through it.

I remember telling my therapist this for the first time I'd spoken to anyone, admitting I have an addiction.

And she was great.

I mean, she said, but that's okay.

You're not alone.

In fact, it's a real problem and more people are doing and feeling the same way than you would think.

And for me, that was the beginning.

That was the first conversation I had that started me on a path to recovery.

She later sent me a journal, a therapist's journal that was set in the mid-naughties.

So not even in today's smartphone era, maybe late-naughties.

And it was a journal that was talking about a huge rise in addiction to this kind of material.