Pat O'Neill

And then when I got here, someone tried to kill me on the road.

And I was feeling bad the whole time that I was doing all these maneuvers.

But then when the guy was trying to kill me, I felt like maybe God was preparing me for this sort of dark souls encounter.

I mean, I got minutes, but they're going to do as well as this one.

I've been only watching Rodney and Don Rickles on Johnny Carson for months and hours.

That's all I do.

Hello!

My name is Shaz and I'm from Amsterdam.

And yes, this is what the Dutch look like now.

Now I can see that some of you are looking into my face.

I want to acknowledge that I have a very distinct look.

I've had this mustache for the past 12 years.

And in these 12 years, I have heard hundreds of comments that people have made.

I've even ranked them.

Like yesterday, this literally happened yesterday.

I was walking around Sixth Street and a homeless guy called me a Middle Eastern Mario.

I was recently in a meeting with a colleague and as soon as I entered the room, he said, look, here comes the Indian monopoly man.

The best one, the best one so far I've gotten is I matched with a girl on Bumble.

And her first message to me was, you look like your dad fucked a Pringles can.

That was my time.