Pat O'Neill

But, I mean, now she's going to see.

In three weeks, I'm going to be on Kill Tony.

I recently met a girl with herpes and, well, I think I'm in love.

I mean, what are the odds the first woman I talk to in months has aftermarket parts?

It was kind of a surreal moment for me, you know, talking to a woman.

But I really think she could be the one.

I mean, think about it.

If I'm ever losing an argument, I can just pull the herpes card.

Oh, sorry we couldn't afford groceries this month, honey.

Maybe if you didn't ruin my life by getting pregnant.

Oh, and you have herpes, bitch.

But, you know, I'm really considering getting herpes.

Think about it.

There's so many beautiful women out there with herpes that no one wants to have sex with.

Well, almost no one.

Sorry, red band.

Didn't want to not include you.

And I was like, wow, this is what black men must have felt like when they discovered fat white women.

I recently met a girl with herpes and, well, I think I'm in love.

I mean, what are the odds the first woman I talked to in months has aftermarket parts?