Paul Brunson

She's called Rosie. She's probably the first time she realized that I fell in love with her. But in the context of there not being many options and me being a guy that basically had no other options, I wasn't going out to nightclubs. I couldn't afford it. I just fell in love with someone who was in close proximity. And I just was really, really into her. And it shocked me because...

She's called Rosie. She's probably the first time she realized that I fell in love with her. But in the context of there not being many options and me being a guy that basically had no other options, I wasn't going out to nightclubs. I couldn't afford it. I just fell in love with someone who was in close proximity. And I just was really, really into her. And it shocked me because...

objectively speaking, had I written down what my type was at that period of my life, I wouldn't have written that. But just because we were held in close proximity for long enough, I found the attraction. Yes. The attraction came to be. Unfortunately, that's not the world we live in. And... In fact, one of my friends who's struggling the most in relationships, her job is literally to meet people.

objectively speaking, had I written down what my type was at that period of my life, I wouldn't have written that. But just because we were held in close proximity for long enough, I found the attraction. Yes. The attraction came to be. Unfortunately, that's not the world we live in. And... In fact, one of my friends who's struggling the most in relationships, her job is literally to meet people.

That's like the base premise of her job. And she can't find anyone. And I think part of what I'm seeing there is what we've described with having too many options. But what does someone do about that? Do they...

That's like the base premise of her job. And she can't find anyone. And I think part of what I'm seeing there is what we've described with having too many options. But what does someone do about that? Do they...

Like, what's the actionable thing to do if you live in the modern world and you're struggling to find somebody, even though you realize that if you were held in a room with five total strangers, you'd probably fall in love with one of them?

Like, what's the actionable thing to do if you live in the modern world and you're struggling to find somebody, even though you realize that if you were held in a room with five total strangers, you'd probably fall in love with one of them?

Yeah. It's tough, right? But it always begins with self and self-awareness. And I would literally start at, well... What is my attachment? That will inform an incredible amount. If she goes back and does the work and realizes that she is avoidant, that will begin to fill in the gaps as to why maybe she's been emotionally distant relationships, why she feels like she doesn't need anyone, right?

Yeah. It's tough, right? But it always begins with self and self-awareness. And I would literally start at, well... What is my attachment? That will inform an incredible amount. If she goes back and does the work and realizes that she is avoidant, that will begin to fill in the gaps as to why maybe she's been emotionally distant relationships, why she feels like she doesn't need anyone, right?

Why people need to jump an even higher bar to be in a relationship with her. Start with your attachment and realize that if you are avoidant or you are anxious, you can earn a secure attachment. And there's work that's involved, but you can do that. And by the way, you can do that without a therapist.

Why people need to jump an even higher bar to be in a relationship with her. Start with your attachment and realize that if you are avoidant or you are anxious, you can earn a secure attachment. And there's work that's involved, but you can do that. And by the way, you can do that without a therapist.

It's always advisable to go with therapists, but let's face it, the wait times for therapists, the cost for a therapist, they're not. And also, the number of therapists on a per capita basis is decreasing. So they're not as accessible as often we make them out to seem. So that's one is you want to start with self. That's one.

It's always advisable to go with therapists, but let's face it, the wait times for therapists, the cost for a therapist, they're not. And also, the number of therapists on a per capita basis is decreasing. So they're not as accessible as often we make them out to seem. So that's one is you want to start with self. That's one.

Secondly is really get grounded on the type of relationship that you want. And the reason why this is important is because therefore you can make it clear what your boundaries are when you begin to engage with people. Because I always say that If you don't assert your boundaries, you can take well-intentioned people and turn them into bullies just as a result of not asserting your boundaries.

Secondly is really get grounded on the type of relationship that you want. And the reason why this is important is because therefore you can make it clear what your boundaries are when you begin to engage with people. Because I always say that If you don't assert your boundaries, you can take well-intentioned people and turn them into bullies just as a result of not asserting your boundaries.

So in order to know your, in order to assert your boundaries, you have to know your boundaries. So that's the second piece is beginning to know, okay, what do I want? What do I want? For example, there are hundreds of variations of relationships that you could have today. My grandmother, right? There was one. It was committed relationship, committed marriage until you die. That was it. Now...

So in order to know your, in order to assert your boundaries, you have to know your boundaries. So that's the second piece is beginning to know, okay, what do I want? What do I want? For example, there are hundreds of variations of relationships that you could have today. My grandmother, right? There was one. It was committed relationship, committed marriage until you die. That was it. Now...

You don't have to be married. You could live apart but be together, see each other on weekends. You can decide. We don't want to have children. You can decide. There are hundreds of variations. Be very clear on what you want. And when I say assert your boundaries is assert what you are interested in right from the beginning. These three steps are incredibly important.

You don't have to be married. You could live apart but be together, see each other on weekends. You can decide. We don't want to have children. You can decide. There are hundreds of variations. Be very clear on what you want. And when I say assert your boundaries is assert what you are interested in right from the beginning. These three steps are incredibly important.