Paul Brunson

And the moment that they're not meeting that expectation, we're not satisfied. Now they could be delivering on nine out of 10 things, but because our expectation is 10, we have low satisfaction. Because ultimately that's what satisfaction is, is satisfaction is really based on our expectation.

And the moment that they're not meeting that expectation, we're not satisfied. Now they could be delivering on nine out of 10 things, but because our expectation is 10, we have low satisfaction. Because ultimately that's what satisfaction is, is satisfaction is really based on our expectation.

So what do we do about that? Because a lot of people will be able to relate to this idea that their partner is multiple things in their life, or that they feel like they are expected to be their partner's therapist, maybe financier, best friend, sports buddy on the weekend to play paddle with. I don't know, life coach, et cetera.

So what do we do about that? Because a lot of people will be able to relate to this idea that their partner is multiple things in their life, or that they feel like they are expected to be their partner's therapist, maybe financier, best friend, sports buddy on the weekend to play paddle with. I don't know, life coach, et cetera.

Some people will feel that pressure while they're also trying to run their own life. What do you do about it? Because you can't come home and say, babe, listen, it's over. I'm only going to be your boyfriend from now on.

Some people will feel that pressure while they're also trying to run their own life. What do you do about it? Because you can't come home and say, babe, listen, it's over. I'm only going to be your boyfriend from now on.

A lot of people won't like this, but we have to lower our expectation of our partners. We really do. And what I mean by this is, first, we have to begin with determining what do we want out of our partnership? Because if we go back, and we don't have to go back thousands of years, we can literally go back to my grandparents. The decisions were not, am I going to get all 10 things from my partner?

A lot of people won't like this, but we have to lower our expectation of our partners. We really do. And what I mean by this is, first, we have to begin with determining what do we want out of our partnership? Because if we go back, and we don't have to go back thousands of years, we can literally go back to my grandparents. The decisions were not, am I going to get all 10 things from my partner?

It is three of the 10 things. And I'll be satisfied with the three of the 10 things. Why? Because I have a full community that I can go to of friends, coworkers, colleagues, people who, you know, in my running club that I can go to for other facets of my life. confidence, intellectual stimulation, whatever it may be. So that's where it begins. What do you want from your marriage?

It is three of the 10 things. And I'll be satisfied with the three of the 10 things. Why? Because I have a full community that I can go to of friends, coworkers, colleagues, people who, you know, in my running club that I can go to for other facets of my life. confidence, intellectual stimulation, whatever it may be. So that's where it begins. What do you want from your marriage?

Then the next step becomes, all right, are you then prepared to do the work required to sustain that relationship? You know, the Gottmans, who I know you've had on the podcast and are really the foremost experts in the world around couples therapy, right? John and Julie Gottman.

Then the next step becomes, all right, are you then prepared to do the work required to sustain that relationship? You know, the Gottmans, who I know you've had on the podcast and are really the foremost experts in the world around couples therapy, right? John and Julie Gottman.

They said something to me that was profound when I was talking to them, and that is, we're all compatible with each other. And let that sit in for a second. It's like, okay, what does that really mean? What it means is that if I were to drop you with another human being on a desolate island and say, that's it. It's just the two of you for the rest of your lives.

They said something to me that was profound when I was talking to them, and that is, we're all compatible with each other. And let that sit in for a second. It's like, okay, what does that really mean? What it means is that if I were to drop you with another human being on a desolate island and say, that's it. It's just the two of you for the rest of your lives.

you are going to form a very strong emotional bond. Chances are you're going to form a very strong physical and sexual bond, right? Why? Because you are required, there's no other outlet but to make it work with them. Look at today. We don't feel like we have to make it work. There's countless options. We can just leave, right? And so...

you are going to form a very strong emotional bond. Chances are you're going to form a very strong physical and sexual bond, right? Why? Because you are required, there's no other outlet but to make it work with them. Look at today. We don't feel like we have to make it work. There's countless options. We can just leave, right? And so...

This notion that we are compatible with everyone I think is profound because what it means is that you can get through that. You can increase your satisfaction by putting in the work.

This notion that we are compatible with everyone I think is profound because what it means is that you can get through that. You can increase your satisfaction by putting in the work.

I can totally relate to that. I remember working in a call center once upon a time and I was broke and lonely. And as I worked in this call center, it was Late Rooms Call Center in Sheetna Mill in Manchester. I basically like fell in love with the girl sat next to me in the call center. Now, listen, I've seen her since. I think 10 years later, she came to one of my meeting greets.

I can totally relate to that. I remember working in a call center once upon a time and I was broke and lonely. And as I worked in this call center, it was Late Rooms Call Center in Sheetna Mill in Manchester. I basically like fell in love with the girl sat next to me in the call center. Now, listen, I've seen her since. I think 10 years later, she came to one of my meeting greets.