Paul Brunson

is because of the enormous amount of work that we put in. You know, a lot of people don't realize is that when I read a stat, Jill is typically right next to me. Last night, literally last night, we're in the bed, and we are talking about the history of marriage. And we're debating Clovis, the first of Franks, and how he made an impact on relationships. We're always... discussing these topics.

is because of the enormous amount of work that we put in. You know, a lot of people don't realize is that when I read a stat, Jill is typically right next to me. Last night, literally last night, we're in the bed, and we are talking about the history of marriage. And we're debating Clovis, the first of Franks, and how he made an impact on relationships. We're always... discussing these topics.

And as a result of having the conversation around these topics, it helps us to be open. It helps us to dialogue. It helps us to debate. It helps us to have doubt. It helps us to have trust and autonomy. And therefore, it helps us to have this strong level of communication and emotional intimacy That then feeds into all aspects of our life, into our sex life, right?

And as a result of having the conversation around these topics, it helps us to be open. It helps us to dialogue. It helps us to debate. It helps us to have doubt. It helps us to have trust and autonomy. And therefore, it helps us to have this strong level of communication and emotional intimacy That then feeds into all aspects of our life, into our sex life, right?

Into our ability to parent our children, into our work, right? All of this feeds from having this strong connection. So the satisfaction is sky high. And... This is a topic that is funny because I was like, hmm, I know Steven does the research, so he could have asked Jill. I am very confident Jill would say the same. The reason why is because we always check in with each other.

Into our ability to parent our children, into our work, right? All of this feeds from having this strong connection. So the satisfaction is sky high. And... This is a topic that is funny because I was like, hmm, I know Steven does the research, so he could have asked Jill. I am very confident Jill would say the same. The reason why is because we always check in with each other.

We're always checking, how are you feeling right now? Do we feel like we're going in the right direction? When I think about do you have strong satisfaction in your relationship, the questions that always come to mind is do you feel safe with your partner? Do you feel safe? Do you feel like you can express your true vulnerability to them, right? That's one. Secondly is do you feel respected?

We're always checking, how are you feeling right now? Do we feel like we're going in the right direction? When I think about do you have strong satisfaction in your relationship, the questions that always come to mind is do you feel safe with your partner? Do you feel safe? Do you feel like you can express your true vulnerability to them, right? That's one. Secondly is do you feel respected?

You know, with John Gottman's research, number one, you know, he saw he could predict divorce at 99 plus percent or 90 plus percent because of contempt or disrespect in the relationship. So do you feel like you have respect? Another one, Are you optimistic about where the relationship is going, which suggests how much effort and work your partner is placing in the relationship?

You know, with John Gottman's research, number one, you know, he saw he could predict divorce at 99 plus percent or 90 plus percent because of contempt or disrespect in the relationship. So do you feel like you have respect? Another one, Are you optimistic about where the relationship is going, which suggests how much effort and work your partner is placing in the relationship?

So many of us are hopeless about the future is because we know our partner's not doing anything to further the relationship. So are you nurturing the relationship? Many of us are quick to focus on self-love now and nurturing ourselves. But the question is how much nurture are you giving to the relationship? Because that's a separate entity.

So many of us are hopeless about the future is because we know our partner's not doing anything to further the relationship. So are you nurturing the relationship? Many of us are quick to focus on self-love now and nurturing ourselves. But the question is how much nurture are you giving to the relationship? Because that's a separate entity.

You're talking there about sort of the pillow talk with Jill about relationships and constantly it being part of the conversation in your household. One of the things that I was pondering as you said that is, should we spend more time talking about the relationship with our partner? Because if I think about the relationship I'm in now, we spend a lot of time talking about the relationship.

You're talking there about sort of the pillow talk with Jill about relationships and constantly it being part of the conversation in your household. One of the things that I was pondering as you said that is, should we spend more time talking about the relationship with our partner? Because if I think about the relationship I'm in now, we spend a lot of time talking about the relationship.

Whereas in previous relationships, it was kind of the elephant in the room all the time. So we never really had an opportunity or a forum to... ask those questions, right, about unmet needs or are you happy, et cetera, et cetera.

Whereas in previous relationships, it was kind of the elephant in the room all the time. So we never really had an opportunity or a forum to... ask those questions, right, about unmet needs or are you happy, et cetera, et cetera.

And I just think that probably the missing piece for a lot of people in relationships is they just don't have a space in their week where they sit and talk about the relationship itself.

And I just think that probably the missing piece for a lot of people in relationships is they just don't have a space in their week where they sit and talk about the relationship itself.

Yes. So, yes, should we be speaking more? Absolutely. Would it save many partnerships? Absolutely. Would it increase the satisfaction? Absolutely. Absolutely. Do we not have enough time? I would say this becomes our cop-out. Like, we're so busy with life. Think about this. I'm so busy with life that I can't give the person that I plan to spend the rest of my life with time.

Yes. So, yes, should we be speaking more? Absolutely. Would it save many partnerships? Absolutely. Would it increase the satisfaction? Absolutely. Absolutely. Do we not have enough time? I would say this becomes our cop-out. Like, we're so busy with life. Think about this. I'm so busy with life that I can't give the person that I plan to spend the rest of my life with time.