Paul Brunson

Yes. There are a significant percentage of people that are like that, especially as we get older. You have couples in their 80s who've now reached a point where the desire for sex is not there. Maybe it's once a year. And I know everyone in their 20s, 30s, 40s, even 50s are like, oh my gosh, once a year, this is crazy. But if you have a couple, you know, there are two different desires here.

Yes. There are a significant percentage of people that are like that, especially as we get older. You have couples in their 80s who've now reached a point where the desire for sex is not there. Maybe it's once a year. And I know everyone in their 20s, 30s, 40s, even 50s are like, oh my gosh, once a year, this is crazy. But if you have a couple, you know, there are two different desires here.

One is called a spontaneous desire and one is called a responsive desire. Now there is a gender difference here. Most men, even if you look through the ages, all the way up to 60s, 70s, they have what's called a spontaneous desire, which means that they are ready 24-7. They could just go. They need no emotional turn on in order to have sex.

One is called a spontaneous desire and one is called a responsive desire. Now there is a gender difference here. Most men, even if you look through the ages, all the way up to 60s, 70s, they have what's called a spontaneous desire, which means that they are ready 24-7. They could just go. They need no emotional turn on in order to have sex.

They just get hard on sat there.

They just get hard on sat there.

Hard on demand.

Hard on demand.

Okay. Pretty much.

Okay. Pretty much.

Whereas as women get older, typically... They require responsive desire. What is responsive desire? They want some emotional connection, some emotional currency. They want some safety. They want a conversation, and not just one, but they want to have a buildup of that emotional currency in order for them to have a responsive desire to the sex in order to have sex.

Whereas as women get older, typically... They require responsive desire. What is responsive desire? They want some emotional connection, some emotional currency. They want some safety. They want a conversation, and not just one, but they want to have a buildup of that emotional currency in order for them to have a responsive desire to the sex in order to have sex.

So there's different desires when you talk about sex. And I think that more discussion needs to be had around responsive desire and the importance of building what Dr. Karen Gurney talks about is as emotional currency to build up that connection with your partner. So emotional currency is almost like putting deposits in the bank account, right? Mm-hmm.

So there's different desires when you talk about sex. And I think that more discussion needs to be had around responsive desire and the importance of building what Dr. Karen Gurney talks about is as emotional currency to build up that connection with your partner. So emotional currency is almost like putting deposits in the bank account, right? Mm-hmm.

If there's an empty sexual bank account and you just go to your partner and you say, I want to have sex. In other words, I want to make a withdrawal. There's nothing there. You're getting nothing. Literally, you're getting nothing. However, if you are placing deposits in. What is that? That is, I just wanted to send you a text to tell you, you know, how much I do love you.

If there's an empty sexual bank account and you just go to your partner and you say, I want to have sex. In other words, I want to make a withdrawal. There's nothing there. You're getting nothing. Literally, you're getting nothing. However, if you are placing deposits in. What is that? That is, I just wanted to send you a text to tell you, you know, how much I do love you.

I appreciate how well you take care of the kids. I can't wait for us to have date night tonight, you know, just to watch the movie and have wine, right? These deposits... hugs, kisses with no requirement of sex. You know, I often talk about a 30 second hug and I gave you a 30 second hug once.

I appreciate how well you take care of the kids. I can't wait for us to have date night tonight, you know, just to watch the movie and have wine, right? These deposits... hugs, kisses with no requirement of sex. You know, I often talk about a 30 second hug and I gave you a 30 second hug once.

Why don't you look happy about that? No, it matters. It's important. Davina does the same. She's a really exceptional hugger.

Why don't you look happy about that? No, it matters. It's important. Davina does the same. She's a really exceptional hugger.