Paul Brunson

Yes, she's very good. So the 30-second hug, I talk about the six-second kiss, and so many people respond back, well, if I gave my husband a 30-second kiss, he'd think that sex is at the end of that. No, we need to normalize these things. That's putting... emotional deposits into our partner. So then once it's built up, then you can go make your withdrawal, right?

Yes, she's very good. So the 30-second hug, I talk about the six-second kiss, and so many people respond back, well, if I gave my husband a 30-second kiss, he'd think that sex is at the end of that. No, we need to normalize these things. That's putting... emotional deposits into our partner. So then once it's built up, then you can go make your withdrawal, right?

And so, yeah, sex needs to be looked at, I think, more and more from the standpoint of responsive and spontaneous desire.

And so, yeah, sex needs to be looked at, I think, more and more from the standpoint of responsive and spontaneous desire.

Desire management, a term that I talk about with my friends sometimes. Should we spend more time apart in our relationships? We live in a society now, as you said, where we're becoming more and more individualistic, which means there's more demands being placed on our partner to be everything. And if they're everything, surely they're less attractive.

Desire management, a term that I talk about with my friends sometimes. Should we spend more time apart in our relationships? We live in a society now, as you said, where we're becoming more and more individualistic, which means there's more demands being placed on our partner to be everything. And if they're everything, surely they're less attractive.

Because if they're our counsellor, our therapist, our accountant, our best friend, it seems like, logically, then they wouldn't be as spicy.

Because if they're our counsellor, our therapist, our accountant, our best friend, it seems like, logically, then they wouldn't be as spicy.

If they are everything, we set ourselves up with a very high stakes relationship because the moment that they don't become everything, they could be 99% of everything, but the moment they're not 100%, we're disappointed.

If they are everything, we set ourselves up with a very high stakes relationship because the moment that they don't become everything, they could be 99% of everything, but the moment they're not 100%, we're disappointed.

But also like if this person is like, my emotional support in so many areas of my life. They are my friend. They are my co-founder of my company. I wonder if the spice, you know, they say absence makes the heart grow fonder. I wonder if the spice is going to leave the building.

But also like if this person is like, my emotional support in so many areas of my life. They are my friend. They are my co-founder of my company. I wonder if the spice, you know, they say absence makes the heart grow fonder. I wonder if the spice is going to leave the building.

The spice can, but there are other, I think, more challenging issues that can arise. And I'll give you my example because I fell into this, right? So I reached a point in my marriage where my wife was everything to me. She was my co-founder. We were running a matchmaking agency. We spent nearly all of our time together. We were co-parents, right?

The spice can, but there are other, I think, more challenging issues that can arise. And I'll give you my example because I fell into this, right? So I reached a point in my marriage where my wife was everything to me. She was my co-founder. We were running a matchmaking agency. We spent nearly all of our time together. We were co-parents, right?

We were, if I had a business question, a platonic question, a romantic question, I would go to her. It got to the point where I saw myself disconnecting from my social circle. I used to go to, I had season tickets to watch basketball. I would stop doing that. I stopped watching my NFL football on the weekends because it was just spending time with, you know, with Jill and the boys.

We were, if I had a business question, a platonic question, a romantic question, I would go to her. It got to the point where I saw myself disconnecting from my social circle. I used to go to, I had season tickets to watch basketball. I would stop doing that. I stopped watching my NFL football on the weekends because it was just spending time with, you know, with Jill and the boys.

And I realized very quickly that what was happening is I was investing everything into my wife and my family. And the issue is that – and this is what happens with so many people is that I had no other confidants in my life. I had distanced myself from almost everyone. And the issue from that is then I'm bringing no value into the relationship because I have no other relationships.

And I realized very quickly that what was happening is I was investing everything into my wife and my family. And the issue is that – and this is what happens with so many people is that I had no other confidants in my life. I had distanced myself from almost everyone. And the issue from that is then I'm bringing no value into the relationship because I have no other relationships.

That's ultimately what that means is when you have other relationships, when you have other friendship circles, you're learning new things. You're bringing novelty into your relationship. You are adding spice to your relationship. I wasn't doing any of that. That continued for quite some time.

That's ultimately what that means is when you have other relationships, when you have other friendship circles, you're learning new things. You're bringing novelty into your relationship. You are adding spice to your relationship. I wasn't doing any of that. That continued for quite some time.