Paul C. Brunson

Like, what is makeup?

Is makeup a lie?

No, makeup is accentuating the positive, dissentuating the negative.

But you can't take a hideously ugly human being and put makeup on them and now they're gorgeous.

Like, you do the best that you can with what you have.

And by the way, I don't believe...

that there are just evil people walking around doing evil things.

I have spent a lot of time with the cheater and the cheated on, the victim of domestic violence and the perpetrator of domestic violence.

And I wish, having spent time with each of those people, I could tell you

oh yeah, there's just evil people.

And if we just could figure out who they are and segregate them, then we'd be fine.

That's not how it works.

Like human emotional complexity, the line of good and evil runs through the human heart and you have to cut out a piece of your heart if you want to get rid of evil.

There is evil in me, there is darkness in me, there is selfishness in me, just like there is in all of us.

And part of marriage, I believe, the most beautiful part of marriage at its best,

is you're not deluding yourself into thinking that I'm perfect and I'm good.

You're looking at me and going, there's beauty in you, and kindness in you, and there's weakness in you, and there's frailty in you, and there's short-sightedness and selfishness in you, and there's empathy and compassion in you, and I want all of that.

Yeah.

So I think the first step is always identifying what it is that you want and then identifying how you've been sharing that with your partner.

And how do we do that?