The Divorce Lawyer Reveals Why Marriages Really Fail
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What does James Sexton believe is the real reason marriages fail?
I hope your marriage ends in death, because someday this will end, either in death or divorce. But marriages fail 70% of the time. And so just work on these three things. You are the most famous divorce attorney in the world. What is the problem to which marriage is a solution? You tell me.
Why should couples consider a prenup before marriage?
Me? Yeah. You're married. What do you want me to tell you? Listen, here's what I'll tell you people would answer. I'm lonely. Guess what? There's a special loneliness. when you're unhappily married. Because you've got sitting next to you, your person. Yes. And you feel so alone. I just think there's something really beautiful about our desire to love and to be loved. Like, I remember saying once, do you know how much I love you? Do you know I love you? Because I want you to feel my love.
How do we determine if we should be divorced or just simply work on the satisfaction?
The first step is always, this is wild. So this is why like you should see a divorce lawyer before you get married. You just did the most legally significant thing you will ever do other than dying. And you think about what cake will we have.
How can couples identify if they should work on their marriage or consider divorce?
Okay. What are three things that you wish people knew before they got married? Hey there, before we begin the episode, I just want to say thank you for choosing We Need to Talk. Doing this podcast is one of the greatest joys of my life, and I want to continue to share it with you. So hit follow and the bell icon. It takes just a second and it helps us to continue to grow this podcast.
James Sexton, we need to talk. Let's talk. All right, so first I have to gas you up. Okay. All right, I'm going to gas you up. I'll take it. So we started this podcast a little over a year ago. I created a list of people that I most wanted to interview. You were on that list. That's very, wow. You were on that list.
What are the key factors to consider before getting married?
So I'm going to say, in my opinion, you are the most famous divorce attorney in the world. I probably am at this point.
Yes.
which is a little bit like saying like, you are the best looking guy in the leper colony. Like, yes, I am the most recognizable and well-known divorce lawyer. Are you proud of that? Yeah. I'm proud of that. Yeah, I love what I do. I love my job. I love my work. I still spend four or five days a week in court. I've worked very hard to hone my craft as a trial lawyer. I represent amazing people who trust me with the most important things in their lives, their children, their wealth. And I love being in court. I love the art of argument. I love advocacy. I love being in a courtroom. I love cross-examination. I love everything about being a trial lawyer. And I also love the fact that through sort of I don't want to say no fault of my own, but through sort of a fortuitous tripping into this quasi celebrity, people know me as a divorce lawyer now.
Yes, they do. Now, I will say this. I hope I never have to use you. Good. Yes.
I hope you don't either. Well, I'll say it even worse. I hope your marriage ends in death. I mean, it's the truth. Every marriage ends. True. It ends in death or divorce. And when you say to someone, you know, congratulations on your marriage, what you're saying is, congratulations, I hope this ends in death. Because it's always going to end. And I actually think there's a reason to keep that in your line of sight. Because if you don't keep that in your line of sight, you make the mistake of thinking that love is permanently gifted rather than loaned. And really every day you get up and make a decision to continue to loan your love, yourself, your being, your connection to this other person. But I think we just very quickly go, okay, I've got that covered.
I've got this now. and I'm just gonna focus on other things. And we just let that gradually fall apart.
So let me ask you this. I've had a theory, and you tell me if this is nonsense or this is a decent theory, that marriage should be much harder to get into, but much easier to get out of.
Yeah. So we share this perspective. Do it. It is wildly unpopular. Everybody thinks that barriers to exit is the answer. Get rid of no-fault divorce, make it harder for people to get out of marriage.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What does James Sexton believe is the real reason marriages fail?
0:00–0:18
2
Why should couples consider a prenup before marriage?
0:18–1:06
3
How can couples identify if they should work on their marriage or consider divorce?
1:06–2:06
4
What are the key factors to consider before getting married?
2:06–58:41
5
What insights does James share about second marriages?
58:41–1:00:12
6
How can couples effectively communicate about their relationship?
1:00:12–1:01:18
7
What are the challenges faced by famous couples in relationships?
1:01:18–1:02:04
8
How do personal experiences shape views on love and relationships?
1:02:04–1:48:58
Speakers
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