Paul Conti

When you develop an ability and all that unconscious processing, right?

Right, right.

All that part of the iceberg that's underneath the surface is doing all of that, right?

It's reading behavioral cues, verbal cues, and recognizing the primacy of emotion over logic, right?

If it were all logic, it'd be different.

Okay, we're going to talk about this thing.

I'll say things, you say things back, even if it's politically contentious, say.

So, okay, we're just going to talk logically.

But that's not the case, right?

There could be

a word that raises a certain emotion and you know you don't want to tread there because the emotion will color the person's ability to engage.

And so you're aware of all of this.

And then I think from the perspective of all of that, it's like standing on the shoulders of your own internal giant, right?

That understands language and emotions and body language and attunement and history and triggering and all of that.

And then on top of that, as you're standing up on those shoulders, you're trying to be effective.

And then I think that's where effectiveness can be unilateral or it can be together.

I mean, I think some of what emerged from Viktor Frankl's writing after the Second World War was how much shared humanness means to us, how much of that can be an incentive for survival beyond all others.

So the idea of are we doing something, if we're communicating unilateral, like I want

information from you, or I want you to do a certain thing when we're done talking, right?

Done communicating.