Paul Eastwick

We'll tell you it was a bolt of lightning.

Everybody else was like, eh, I thought you were all right at first.

So here's why that ends up being important.

Because if we look at that stretch of time, when people are starting to think like, hmm, maybe I like her.

She seems pretty funny.

I like the way she tells stories.

She makes me feel confident.

What's also happening during that stretch of time is that I might think she's exceptionally hot.

And in fact, her confidence makes her seem hotter.

but the extent to which she is objectively hot, the extent to which other people think she's hot, is starting to wear off.

So being an attractive person, it matters at first, but then your ability to reel somebody in over time, which is often a required part of this process, your hotness, your objective hotness,

is not going to help you as much as what's going on diatically between the two of you.

And again, depending on whether you are objectively hot or not, maybe that's good news or maybe that's bad news.

So the more you get to know people, the less looks matter.

Yeah, right.

Exactly.

And it...

can be tough to get in the door.

I mean, God, I remember embarrassing stories of me in eighth grade.

I'd started to figure this out.