Paul Scheer

Preach. And here's the other thing. If you're going to be serving a burger, fries are not extra. That's a twofer.

Preach. And here's the other thing. If you're going to be serving a burger, fries are not extra. That's a twofer.

Preach. And here's the other thing. If you're going to be serving a burger, fries are not extra. That's a twofer.

I don't even enjoy the fries, and the fries are the best part. And you can give me a little carafe like this big. Don't treat me like an animal.

I don't even enjoy the fries, and the fries are the best part. And you can give me a little carafe like this big. Don't treat me like an animal.

I don't even enjoy the fries, and the fries are the best part. And you can give me a little carafe like this big. Don't treat me like an animal.

I don't even know how you make it, but I know that... I don't think anyone knows. That's why it's so bad. The Heinz factory is a mystery. Yeah, the Heinz factory has figured out something that no one can duplicate. What about Kraft Mayo? Have you ever had that? That, I can at least get a little bit behind. 100% disagree. Really? I want Hellman's. Oh, I mean... Look, I'm not saying Hellmann's.

I don't even know how you make it, but I know that... I don't think anyone knows. That's why it's so bad. The Heinz factory is a mystery. Yeah, the Heinz factory has figured out something that no one can duplicate. What about Kraft Mayo? Have you ever had that? That, I can at least get a little bit behind. 100% disagree. Really? I want Hellman's. Oh, I mean... Look, I'm not saying Hellmann's.

I don't even know how you make it, but I know that... I don't think anyone knows. That's why it's so bad. The Heinz factory is a mystery. Yeah, the Heinz factory has figured out something that no one can duplicate. What about Kraft Mayo? Have you ever had that? That, I can at least get a little bit behind. 100% disagree. Really? I want Hellman's. Oh, I mean... Look, I'm not saying Hellmann's.

I'm going to go for Hellmann's. Mayo at least is like eggs, and it will taste a little bit like it.

I'm going to go for Hellmann's. Mayo at least is like eggs, and it will taste a little bit like it.

I'm going to go for Hellmann's. Mayo at least is like eggs, and it will taste a little bit like it.

Not at all.

Not at all.

Not at all.

All right, I'm going to give you a more controversial take. I like Miracle Whip. Oh, Miracle Whip's disgusting. Oh, my God.

All right, I'm going to give you a more controversial take. I like Miracle Whip. Oh, Miracle Whip's disgusting. Oh, my God.

All right, I'm going to give you a more controversial take. I like Miracle Whip. Oh, Miracle Whip's disgusting. Oh, my God.

You know, look, I like eating at fine dining establishments, but the mistake that they always make is you make this great burger, you make these great fries, and then you kill it all with a ketchup that just doesn't taste right. And I read those comments and I was in those comments and the way that people are like, well, but you haven't tried this specific one. I don't need to.

You know, look, I like eating at fine dining establishments, but the mistake that they always make is you make this great burger, you make these great fries, and then you kill it all with a ketchup that just doesn't taste right. And I read those comments and I was in those comments and the way that people are like, well, but you haven't tried this specific one. I don't need to.