Peter Bregman

There is no point in this process where I am telling her what to do or giving her advice. I'm engaging with her in thinking about it and asking certain questions that always keep her in control.

There is no point in this process where I am telling her what to do or giving her advice. I'm engaging with her in thinking about it and asking certain questions that always keep her in control.

There is no point in this process where I am telling her what to do or giving her advice. I'm engaging with her in thinking about it and asking certain questions that always keep her in control.

Thanks so much for having me, Michael. It's great to be here.

Thanks so much for having me, Michael. It's great to be here.

Thanks so much for having me, Michael. It's great to be here.

You can change other people. It's just that the way we try to change other people doesn't work because we're doing and saying the wrong things. And we're actually creating resistance. People don't resist change. They resist being changed. And so I change all the time. But if you try to change me, forget it. I'm going to fight because that's my loss of control.

You can change other people. It's just that the way we try to change other people doesn't work because we're doing and saying the wrong things. And we're actually creating resistance. People don't resist change. They resist being changed. And so I change all the time. But if you try to change me, forget it. I'm going to fight because that's my loss of control.

You can change other people. It's just that the way we try to change other people doesn't work because we're doing and saying the wrong things. And we're actually creating resistance. People don't resist change. They resist being changed. And so I change all the time. But if you try to change me, forget it. I'm going to fight because that's my loss of control.

So we have to change people in ways that doesn't elicit the kind of resistance we end up fighting against.

So we have to change people in ways that doesn't elicit the kind of resistance we end up fighting against.

So we have to change people in ways that doesn't elicit the kind of resistance we end up fighting against.

Exactly, and this process is not a magic manipulative process where I'm gonna give you three words to say and people will instantly hypnotically change. It does drastically increase your hit rate in helping people change, but it is ultimately about them. So most often we want people to change, right? Because there's something we're frustrated about.

Exactly, and this process is not a magic manipulative process where I'm gonna give you three words to say and people will instantly hypnotically change. It does drastically increase your hit rate in helping people change, but it is ultimately about them. So most often we want people to change, right? Because there's something we're frustrated about.

Exactly, and this process is not a magic manipulative process where I'm gonna give you three words to say and people will instantly hypnotically change. It does drastically increase your hit rate in helping people change, but it is ultimately about them. So most often we want people to change, right? Because there's something we're frustrated about.

But that frustration is coming out of a place of care. Usually when you're frustrated or angry about something, it's because you care deeply about something. And almost always the thing you care about is in your mutual interest as well as their individual interest.

But that frustration is coming out of a place of care. Usually when you're frustrated or angry about something, it's because you care deeply about something. And almost always the thing you care about is in your mutual interest as well as their individual interest.

But that frustration is coming out of a place of care. Usually when you're frustrated or angry about something, it's because you care deeply about something. And almost always the thing you care about is in your mutual interest as well as their individual interest.

But it's not being framed that way at all because you're coming off as sort of a critic of their behavior as opposed to an ally working with them.

But it's not being framed that way at all because you're coming off as sort of a critic of their behavior as opposed to an ally working with them.