Peter Bregman

So here's the thing. There is no point in this process where I am telling her what to do or giving her advice. I'm engaging with her in thinking about it and asking certain questions that always keep her in control. It's her change. It's her choice.

Exactly. So it's a great point, Michael. And that's why step four is the plan that says, I'm confident that I'm going to follow through on this, but it's not necessarily going to solve the whole thing. It's an experiment. I don't know if it's going to work or not. I just care that you're going to follow through on something that looks a little different.

Exactly. So it's a great point, Michael. And that's why step four is the plan that says, I'm confident that I'm going to follow through on this, but it's not necessarily going to solve the whole thing. It's an experiment. I don't know if it's going to work or not. I just care that you're going to follow through on something that looks a little different.

Exactly. So it's a great point, Michael. And that's why step four is the plan that says, I'm confident that I'm going to follow through on this, but it's not necessarily going to solve the whole thing. It's an experiment. I don't know if it's going to work or not. I just care that you're going to follow through on something that looks a little different.

Let's get together again in a week and see how it's going. No shame with failure. That's just part of the process. We're scientists here. We're experimenting. We don't know what the solution is. about how to get better as opposed to just, you know, where we started, which was me criticizing you.

Let's get together again in a week and see how it's going. No shame with failure. That's just part of the process. We're scientists here. We're experimenting. We don't know what the solution is. about how to get better as opposed to just, you know, where we started, which was me criticizing you.

Let's get together again in a week and see how it's going. No shame with failure. That's just part of the process. We're scientists here. We're experimenting. We don't know what the solution is. about how to get better as opposed to just, you know, where we started, which was me criticizing you.

So I think that that is absolutely her choice in a sense. This will not work with everybody in every situation because in order for people to change, they need four things. They need ownership, they need independent capability, they need emotional courage, and they need resilience, future-proofing when it gets hard. They need those four things.

So I think that that is absolutely her choice in a sense. This will not work with everybody in every situation because in order for people to change, they need four things. They need ownership, they need independent capability, they need emotional courage, and they need resilience, future-proofing when it gets hard. They need those four things.

So I think that that is absolutely her choice in a sense. This will not work with everybody in every situation because in order for people to change, they need four things. They need ownership, they need independent capability, they need emotional courage, and they need resilience, future-proofing when it gets hard. They need those four things.

Emotional courage is the willingness to feel hard things. We could build all of those things. But if ultimately she says, I don't care. I'm happy with eating those cookies. I don't really care what my weight is. I'm not so interested in being an athlete. I don't really care. I'm good. So you have to realize that when you want other people to change and you want to help them change,

Emotional courage is the willingness to feel hard things. We could build all of those things. But if ultimately she says, I don't care. I'm happy with eating those cookies. I don't really care what my weight is. I'm not so interested in being an athlete. I don't really care. I'm good. So you have to realize that when you want other people to change and you want to help them change,

Emotional courage is the willingness to feel hard things. We could build all of those things. But if ultimately she says, I don't care. I'm happy with eating those cookies. I don't really care what my weight is. I'm not so interested in being an athlete. I don't really care. I'm good. So you have to realize that when you want other people to change and you want to help them change,

You show up as an ally to support them, but it's not going to be a, and you could predispose them to it. You can open them to the possibility of making the change. You could support them in making the change. You could give them ideas and ways of approaching it. But ultimately, it's going to be their call if they decide they don't want to.

You show up as an ally to support them, but it's not going to be a, and you could predispose them to it. You can open them to the possibility of making the change. You could support them in making the change. You could give them ideas and ways of approaching it. But ultimately, it's going to be their call if they decide they don't want to.

You show up as an ally to support them, but it's not going to be a, and you could predispose them to it. You can open them to the possibility of making the change. You could support them in making the change. You could give them ideas and ways of approaching it. But ultimately, it's going to be their call if they decide they don't want to.

So change is one thing. Boundaries and consequences for how you operate as a team is another. So Alan Mulally, who was the CEO of Ford for the turnaround in 2008, and before then he was the CEO of Boeing during September 11th. I mean, he's an unbelievable leader. And he was amazing at this. Whereas what he would do is he would say, these are the standards.

So change is one thing. Boundaries and consequences for how you operate as a team is another. So Alan Mulally, who was the CEO of Ford for the turnaround in 2008, and before then he was the CEO of Boeing during September 11th. I mean, he's an unbelievable leader. And he was amazing at this. Whereas what he would do is he would say, these are the standards.

So change is one thing. Boundaries and consequences for how you operate as a team is another. So Alan Mulally, who was the CEO of Ford for the turnaround in 2008, and before then he was the CEO of Boeing during September 11th. I mean, he's an unbelievable leader. And he was amazing at this. Whereas what he would do is he would say, these are the standards.

And by the way, when he, just to give you an example, when he turned around Ford, Ford was losing billions and he turned it around so they were making billions. And this was during the recession when everybody else was taking bailouts. And he made that turnaround with essentially exactly the same team. There was a turnover of one person.