Peter Bregman

100%, 100%. It is very, very tempting. You really have to keep reminding yourself, I'm here in support of them. It's not about me. I'm here in support of them. And yeah, that's really critical.

Yeah, and I think the real focus then is to sort of say, what is that outcome that we're trying to go to? So when you shift to the outcome and you're no longer talking about the problem, then you're in a more interesting, positive, engaged conversation.

Yeah, and I think the real focus then is to sort of say, what is that outcome that we're trying to go to? So when you shift to the outcome and you're no longer talking about the problem, then you're in a more interesting, positive, engaged conversation.

Yeah, and I think the real focus then is to sort of say, what is that outcome that we're trying to go to? So when you shift to the outcome and you're no longer talking about the problem, then you're in a more interesting, positive, engaged conversation.

It's actually one of the things I always suggest to leaders that I'm coaching, which is if you're disappointed with someone's behavior and they've made a big mistake, if you go back and say, what were you thinking? What were you thinking in this when you decided to do this? That is a setup for a disaster of a conversation. And the reason...

It's actually one of the things I always suggest to leaders that I'm coaching, which is if you're disappointed with someone's behavior and they've made a big mistake, if you go back and say, what were you thinking? What were you thinking in this when you decided to do this? That is a setup for a disaster of a conversation. And the reason...

It's actually one of the things I always suggest to leaders that I'm coaching, which is if you're disappointed with someone's behavior and they've made a big mistake, if you go back and say, what were you thinking? What were you thinking in this when you decided to do this? That is a setup for a disaster of a conversation. And the reason...

is because they're going to tell you what they were thinking. It obviously wasn't smart thinking, but they're going to tell you what they were thinking. They're going to answer your question. And that's going to sound defensive. And you're going to see the holes in it because it obviously didn't work.

is because they're going to tell you what they were thinking. It obviously wasn't smart thinking, but they're going to tell you what they were thinking. They're going to answer your question. And that's going to sound defensive. And you're going to see the holes in it because it obviously didn't work.

is because they're going to tell you what they were thinking. It obviously wasn't smart thinking, but they're going to tell you what they were thinking. They're going to answer your question. And that's going to sound defensive. And you're going to see the holes in it because it obviously didn't work.

And then you're going to get mad and then they're going to get defensive and it's just going to go back. And instead, I always suggest you say, instead of saying, you know, what, what were you thinking or what you say, what would you do differently next time? So now you've gone from a defensive, shameful conversation to one of hope and opportunity and energy.

And then you're going to get mad and then they're going to get defensive and it's just going to go back. And instead, I always suggest you say, instead of saying, you know, what, what were you thinking or what you say, what would you do differently next time? So now you've gone from a defensive, shameful conversation to one of hope and opportunity and energy.

And then you're going to get mad and then they're going to get defensive and it's just going to go back. And instead, I always suggest you say, instead of saying, you know, what, what were you thinking or what you say, what would you do differently next time? So now you've gone from a defensive, shameful conversation to one of hope and opportunity and energy.

Excellent. A lot of fun, Michael. Thanks so much.

Excellent. A lot of fun, Michael. Thanks so much.

Excellent. A lot of fun, Michael. Thanks so much.