Peter Sagal

It uses like the hard end for like its flanks and then the softer bristles for its more delicate parts.

I frankly, I mean, everybody's excited, but I'm a little miffed, right?

A cow uses the broom to scratch her back.

She's a genius.

I use a spatula.

You are as smart as a cow.

So cows learning how to use tools comes just in the nick of time as RFK Jr.

has updated the food pyramid to stress eating a lot of beef.

So the next tool cows need to learn to use are pistols.

All the cows and all the guns.

All right, here is your last quote.

It is the New York Post genuine headline on a sports scandal threatening to overshadow the upcoming Winter Olympics.

The sport has been rocked by penis gate.

So that's about a scandal where athletes are allegedly cheating to fly further through the air in what Olympic sport?

Be like skiing or ski jump type of thing?

Ski jumping, yes.

The scandal which the New York Times is calling crotch gate and the London Times calls a gobble wobble on the willy knicker.

It has to do with these skin-tight suits ski jumpers wear.

So any extra fabric on these suits is illegal because it can catch the wind and make the athletes fly farther.

So when they are measured for their suits, some ski jumpers have tried to make their junk look bigger so they can get away with more fabric.