Phil Smith

And then I was like, all right, well, I'm totally mature enough to be in a platonic relationship with a woman who's married.

No, no, no, that's what I thought at the time.

No, no, no, that's what I thought at the time.

No, no, no, that's what I thought at the time.

Platonic.

Platonic.

Platonic.

Yeah, so, like, I thought we could, like, catch an earthquake together or something. Yeah. She could not use my material against me. I'll speed it up a little bit. No, you're doing good. Keep going. She was going to mics by herself and stuff. Her husband didn't support her doing comedy. Wasn't a fan of you either. He didn't let her watch Kill Tony. He didn't let her watch Kill Tony?

Yeah, so, like, I thought we could, like, catch an earthquake together or something. Yeah. She could not use my material against me. I'll speed it up a little bit. No, you're doing good. Keep going. She was going to mics by herself and stuff. Her husband didn't support her doing comedy. Wasn't a fan of you either. He didn't let her watch Kill Tony. He didn't let her watch Kill Tony?

Yeah, so, like, I thought we could, like, catch an earthquake together or something. Yeah. She could not use my material against me. I'll speed it up a little bit. No, you're doing good. Keep going. She was going to mics by herself and stuff. Her husband didn't support her doing comedy. Wasn't a fan of you either. He didn't let her watch Kill Tony. He didn't let her watch Kill Tony?

That's just what I heard. I don't need to give this guy more of a reason to murder me, so we're not going to talk too much about him. No, keep going. This is great. So I'm going to Mike's with her as a friend, as a platonic friend. And I'm really like in my head, like, damn, I've matured so much. She's so hot and I can just be her friend. And we're going to all the Mike's.

That's just what I heard. I don't need to give this guy more of a reason to murder me, so we're not going to talk too much about him. No, keep going. This is great. So I'm going to Mike's with her as a friend, as a platonic friend. And I'm really like in my head, like, damn, I've matured so much. She's so hot and I can just be her friend. And we're going to all the Mike's.

That's just what I heard. I don't need to give this guy more of a reason to murder me, so we're not going to talk too much about him. No, keep going. This is great. So I'm going to Mike's with her as a friend, as a platonic friend. And I'm really like in my head, like, damn, I've matured so much. She's so hot and I can just be her friend. And we're going to all the Mike's.

We're going to all the Mike's. And eventually she just ghosts me. And I'm like, oh, did I like weird her out or something? And so I texted her, didn't get a text back. And then a few days goes by and I'm like, I'll send her one more. And she says, I was like, hey, did you like quit comedy or something? And she says, no, I'm going through some personal stuff.

We're going to all the Mike's. And eventually she just ghosts me. And I'm like, oh, did I like weird her out or something? And so I texted her, didn't get a text back. And then a few days goes by and I'm like, I'll send her one more. And she says, I was like, hey, did you like quit comedy or something? And she says, no, I'm going through some personal stuff.

We're going to all the Mike's. And eventually she just ghosts me. And I'm like, oh, did I like weird her out or something? And so I texted her, didn't get a text back. And then a few days goes by and I'm like, I'll send her one more. And she says, I was like, hey, did you like quit comedy or something? And she says, no, I'm going through some personal stuff.

Turns out the personal stuff was she told her husband that she has feelings for me. And then they started the divorce process.

Turns out the personal stuff was she told her husband that she has feelings for me. And then they started the divorce process.

Turns out the personal stuff was she told her husband that she has feelings for me. And then they started the divorce process.

Again, real mature of me, I waited, because we're in Texas, so you really can't fuck around.