PJ Vogt

I might text someone like, oh yeah, I got hung up in security.

Or like my mom was asking like, why were you late to meet me at the gate?

And I was like, oh, I got a special pat down.

And then only in the past couple of years did it dawn on me that like this happens to me all the time.

It happens often enough that by now, Travis knows what to expect.

On his otherwise breezy commute from Honolulu to Manhattan, he'll set off the scanner.

He'll get stopped.

And then it'll be time for the pat-down.

The agent, they'll offer a private screening.

Travis will decline.

Instead, they're in front of everybody, every time.

He'll go through the brief, somewhat embarrassing ritual.

So, they say, like, I'm going to rub the backs of my hands across your crotch.

And then they say, like, I'm going to rub it across your buttocks.

That's what they do with the backs of the hands.

And then they're like, okay, good to go.

Got it.

So, it's like they're trying to establish, it sounds like, I'm guessing that they're not groping you.

So, it's the back of their hand, not the front of their hand.

And they're checking to make sure that there's not, like,