PJ Vogt

My first step was, as always, the internet.

A simple Google search, TSA scanner penis question mark, immediately dumped me into a lane of inquiry, a theory that each of our listeners had dismissed, but which I would ultimately be glad I pursued, as there were clues to be found in it.

Theory number one, large dongs.

There is an extensive body of internet literature, not hard science, but what was at least until recently called lived experience, online of men with supposedly large packages offering testimony about the inconveniences they've regularly suffered under the cold, unyielding gaze of the TSA's body scanner.

You can find an article about this phenomenon on the website bigdickguide.com, an online magazine for well-endowed men that contains sections like how to measure and underwear buying guide.

There are also several news stories from 2012 when an American internet micro-celebrity made the rounds to talk about his bad experience with the TSA.

Here he is on British Morning News.

You see these two wide-eyed British newscasters on their couch.

Jonah, a surprisingly round-cheeked, baby-faced man on the opposite couch, there to speak his truth.

So this was one of the airports that had the body scanner, you know, the one that actually shows an outline.

So that's what caught their eye.

First things first, they said, are you sure you took everything out of your pocket?

I said, yes.

So I went through the metal detector, and I went through the body scanner.

And then they were, do you have some sort of growth?

And I think this was very close to when one of the terrorists attempted to wrap a bomb around his penis.

Sure.

And maybe they were, they were saying, well, this is something we're looking out for.

So it could have been a conflux of a perfect storm there.

It's funny, this constituted a news story, a weird news story, but a news story in 2012.