PJ Vogt

But he was so angry and disgusted with me that I was not asking him fun follow-up questions about it.

Whether, like, I think had I said... Poor man.

Had I been like, do other people set off the thing with their crutches, I literally think I would have been arrested.

But I feel pretty confident that all these men have sweaty crutches.

I, too, felt bad for the TSA agent, a government worker only here to protect our skies.

But I guess not bad enough, because a week later, when another search engine colleague offered to rerun the experiment to confirm our results, I said yes with little compunction.

This is Search Engine Senior Producer Garrett Graham, a very precise and methodical thinker.

Garrett did not entirely trust me to have distributed a reasonable amount of water on my own crotch, so he wanted to try a more scientific level of moisture, closer to actual sweat.

These were his results.

Now that we had data from our soggy experiments, we emailed Doug McMakin, the engineer.

He wrote back to explain what we may have found.

He explained that millimeter waves bounce off of water-soaked clothing, that at a high enough moisture level, water creates a barrier, which meant Garrett and I really had created two synthetic Bermuda triangles, places on our bodies where millimeter waves could no longer pass through.

So we emailed our listeners.

We told them it was time for the final round of testing.

Lucky for us, two of our listeners, Travis and Silas, were set to fly this week, and they were game to be deputized into our experiment.

The instructions get their bodies as dry as possible as they pass through the scanner.

Not swamp crotch, desert crotch.

Here are their results.

Oh, my God.

Okay, so that was very nerve-wracking.