Pope Theo

There's a mile-long volcano in the ocean off the west coast of the United States, and it's due to blow any day now, and they're just like, don't worry about it. But we should worry about it.

Hey.

You threw us for a loop.

All right, so Anthony got us a present. I mean, yeah.

Hey, guys.

This is a lot of paper.

Oh, hold on.

And it comes blessed by the Vatican.

Thanks, Anthony.

It's not even out, right? Pre-order or get one now. Go to ninjasandbutterflies.com and we'll be bidding on this.

That's perfect.

So going back to the gorilla versus 100 men.

But how many men can get around a gorilla at one time?

I looked it up. Okay. One silverback gorilla has the equivalent strength of 25 men combined. Yeah. They can bench press that said 4,000 pounds. Oh, wow.

I have a four-year-old, and she can literally beat me up.

We're not playing anymore.

Actually, it turns out we couldn't get Pope Leo. He's busy doing something. Second place in the running. Yeah. Pope Theo.

Do you got your phone on you, Anthony? Yes, I do. All right, look at this video I just sent you guys. This is, we'll wait for.

It's really tucked in that robe. You'd think the robe would have pockets.

Three, two, one. Oh, that might get flagged, that song. Yeah. Just watch it. Wait for the one that stands up. Yeah, by the river.

All right, here's a new question.

We got a new question. Okay. All right. Next level. You're in a mall, an abandoned mall. Okay. pretty much any of them all balls open mall no doors okay there's a chimpanzee with a crowbar and you have do you think you could survive 30 minutes in this mall with a chimpanzee with a crowbar and it's one goal to come get you right

Yeah.

What about you get a 5-minute head start to go anywhere in the mall?

Of course.

The fishing pole.

Dude, you're just hiding and you just hear the echo of the chimp.

Dude, Planet of the Apes, if you just watch that. It answers your question. Yeah, you're donezo.

Would you do one week in the Ice Age or 30 minutes snorkeling in prehistoric waters in the pitch black?

I'm definitely doing the Ice Age.

That's still terrifying. If you're just given a booklet of everything that exists in the water.

jacked up with bacteria that's insane i didn't know it was that's crazy that they're in salt water and it's still doing that yeah it's nuts speaking of terrifying places what about them do you hear about the kidnappings in france what dude there's a video going around on the news of yeah i know it was all the rats and they tied up the health inspector and they put them in the walk-in close

It was this daughter of this guy who has some, like, cryptocurrency, like, in a very well-known part of France. They call it, like, Cryptocurrency Road or something. Like, all the billionaires live there. And in the open daylight, this chick is, like, they're trying to kidnap her. And her husband's, like, holding her down.

Yeah. But they're, like, this is a normal thing. Like, apparently, like, every day there's, like, five kidnappings in France. Whoa, bro. And it's, like... The French are the worst.

Poor Kim.

Dude, France is the worst. Am I right? You get it. I get it.

Nope. Oh. Well, it might be. Hey. Did you guys hear about the underwater volcano?

This is terrifying. And they're like, don't be afraid.

Interesting. Yeah, tell me about it. What's going on? It's off the west coast of America, the Pacific Ocean. This volcano is one mile wide, and it is due to explode any day now. Really? They said in between now and the summer. It's definitely going to blow. And they said when it blows, it could cause 10,000 earthquakes.

Yes. But everyone's like, don't worry about it. It's underwater. It's so far underwater. But it's like... 10,000 earthquakes in a day. I don't know a lot about earthquakes, but that seems like a lot. And it's a mile-long volcano.

Yeah, Yellowstone Super Volcano.

They're literally observing. It's like bubbling up, like it's going to boom.

Yeah, they think the date is, like, the early June. Soon, though. Yeah.

That was what? Miramar? What is it called? Myanmar. I was close.

Yeah.

He's like...

He seemed nervous to do it.

This is why I tell my kids, just don't watch sports. Don't do sports. Because it will just lead to corruption.

Ninjas are butterflies, and the Bible is funny combined into one beautiful little baby that you can just hold and kiss.

Are you talking about the one in that water tank when it stands up? And it stands up.

No, they're crazy. We're wrong a lot of times. Just closer.

They're deceiving because they'll walk up to you not showing any aggression and then just eat you. Yeah. Oh, that's so scary. They won't chase. They'll just walk up to you and just slowly pursue.

Speaking of polar bears, you guys heard of the Walmart Utopia? Walmart Utopia? No. I don't know if it's cool or really scary.

No, I'm talking, it was like the ex or the past CEO or something, Mark Lohr.

He's building a city in the desert and naming it Tolosa, which means higher purpose. Uh-huh.

and he's he's personally investing 500 billion dollars into building this city this like futuristic city that'll be they're calling it a 15-minute city so like but the whole thing is like you don't own the land you could buy a house and stuff but as the land increases everybody shares it and like it goes towards health care all this other stuff within the city yeah but i just think it's creepy yeah

I guess because it's something new, something weird.

And now he's just doing his own thing? Now he's a crazy billionaire, and he's like, I'm going to make my own city. They call it Teloso, which means higher purpose. Is it really? Are you sure you got the billion, not the million right? 500 billion.

yeah i can't wrap my head around i'm sure he has investors in it but he is a billionaire that's a huge move he's starting this city that's wild imagine just starting a city in your spare time like in your retirement you're like what am i gonna do now what's my next project fishing but his whole thing is like all these billionaires they want to just like go to space and like build a stuff on mars he's like i just want to build a dope city i mean i'm down for it i'll visit that

It's not Texas. I thought you said Texas. Sorry. No. They think it's going to be by Las Vegas. But they said that a weird thing I saw was if you live there, you have to have permission to leave. Ew.

Did you guys see that Theo Von Caleb clip of the what's the most sold item at Walmart ever in existence? I did see this, yeah. It's been the same every single year since Walmart's conception.

The all-time, man, I don't know.

Bananas. Really? What is? That's the answer.

Did we say? Yeah. I think so. Your grace.

Yeah.

No.

You can just say like... What names can we... Him. Him.

You're saying carnations and breakfast? Instant.

So no pictures of you as a baby.

Rachel didn't hear any of that. Oh, this might be just one of their things.

We only had our phones for pictures and video, so we decided to get closer.

It's all Latin by root. Hey, Pope Theo, would you want a song? I would love a song. I know the Vatican really gets down on their songs.

It does look like an orangutan in the face, though.

Do you see his foot, though? No. The bottom.

Well, have you heard people are like, well, you've never found Bigfoot bones or whatever. It's like, how often are you finding bones of bears? Yeah, true. And there's tens of thousands, hundreds of thousands of bears, whatever there is.

I mean, so there's this viral thing going around. Yeah. I'm sure during the conclave with all the Cardinals, you guys probably were all, this was like what you guys talked about.

Was 100 men versus one gorilla.

Who knows?

Stay in your caves. Speaking of things that are spooky. What? This is actually a crazy story. I just sent you a photo. So the photo I just sent you, these are footprints in the desert in Mexico, and they are dated 10,000 years old.

Yeah. So we wrote a song in honor of that.

And what they they observe these footprints and what they assume of what happened, but just judging off the footprints was it was a lady that was running from something. And the footprints go up there a mile long and they don't deviate. They're like a straight line. And every couple yards, couple hundred yards, it looks like she stops and puts someone down. It's a child.

And so then it's picked back up and start running again. And you can see following the tracks is a giant sloth tracks. And it says at one point it looked like it stood up and then back down and was chasing her. And so they go for a mile long and then they just stop and And then it's just her footprints coming back right beside them, both no child. And they're 10,000 years old.

But the weird thing is, obviously this was like mud or something she was running in. These footprints were left undisturbed for 10,000 years. So no animal, no human stepped on them. So the theory is something could have happened to just freeze time in that region at that moment. Like a cataclysm or something. So that's why she was running. That's why the sloth could have been running.

I mean, but that lines up a lot with like the old Aztec and Mayan like history is like that the gods got angry and they sent down fire from heaven and stuff. And it's just it's wild. I mean, you look at there, nothing disturbed them for 10,000 years.

so we'll just come up with something real quick yeah we're gonna stop that yeah something yeah oh yeah man so supportive this guy

Yeah. Yeah. But maybe that's part of the whole, if you want to get in the conspiracy realm, it's because the whole globalist view is depopulation. So if we have too many people, then we have to start doing things to depopulate the earth. And like the Georgia Guidestones, it said that in order for earth to thrive or humanity to survive, there only needs to be 500 million people on earth. Okay.

And so like, if you're throwing out these numbers, like we have 8 billion, we got to cut back on people and stuff. I don't know. Yeah. I feel like you connect it somehow. Yeah.

year okay eat your banana hey the sun the sun might explode dude literally all she says it all the time like when we're driving somewhere and like you go through those parts of states where it's just like nothing for hours yeah she's like what do you mean we're running out of room we have so much room yeah yeah we got a lot of room you ever wonder as a kid like whenever i always drove into cities or towns or anything like that we would look at the population of the city yeah i'm like how do they know

Someone on Patreon had a really fun theory about Chattanooga. Oh, okay.

Which puts it under, like, certain protections and, like... Yeah, they're going to start expanding funding. It's probably, like, UNESCO or... I don't know. Something like that. Yeah.

But the theory was the earthquake that just happened in Tennessee, they're actually about to... They're drilling, like, the tunnels, like the underground tunnels that we talked about, the cities, that Chattanooga will be, like, one of the entrances. Ah. Because there are a lot of cave systems in Chattanooga or Tennessee.

So it would be like you put it under protection, then you can't build here, can't build there because it is now state world park, whatever you call it.

I thought that was fun.

Dude, I want to be shot by a taser just to see what it's like.

We'll have to get tased. Everything leads back to the glitter conspiracy.

It has to be the atmosphere stuff. It's like chemtrails and whatever.

Oh, speaking of ghosts. Oh, no. Here we go. The Ooga Booga Sphere?

What's the Ooga Booga Sphere? So it's just called the Booga Sphere. Oh. But everyone's calling it the Ooga Booga Sphere. Boop. But it's not a hoax yet. They're still testing it. So it was this sphere, this metal sphere that was floating in Columbia. They got video of it and apparently hit a wire, like a telephone pole or something. Crash. Maybe I did see this.

Picked it up and it has these hieroglyphic looking things all over it. No way. But yeah, apparently it's not a hoax as of now. And they're still running tests on it. They said it was like 95% aluminum, but every time they weigh it, it weighs something different.

And it's temperature fluctuates too. Okay. So like, they'll be touching it and it'll like drop or raise like 10 degrees. And there's just no, they're still observing it. They do like an x-ray to see what's inside. And apparently it's nothing that we've seen before. And.

Yeah. Someone on TikTok, they said that the pattern in the middle of the Booga Sphere... It lines up pretty much perfectly if you were to take a top picture of Stonehenge. Like the dots line up with the stones. Dang. Which is wild. That is wild. Yeah. That is wild. The boogasphere. Who named it?

Hey, I like my cartoon cats. Do you ever just Winnie Poo it around the house? All the time. Shirt, no pants? Shirt, no pants. Just eat a jar of honey?

Yeah.

I got something fun to talk about on Patreon.

Patreon.com forward slash ninjas are butterflies.

Yeah.

Maybe. Maybe even more. Maybe Miami. Maybe Jacksonville. There might be Morita? Do the Florida tour out there?

Why am I?

We love you guys so much. Hey, go get the new card game. Pre-order it. You have to.

That's it. Oh, and did we say subscribe and stuff?

You guys get it, though. Yeah. Subscribe. Comment. Leave a review on Spotify or Google or something.

We've been climbing. We appreciate you guys. Thank you. Number seven. No, 15 today. Top comedy.

That's so impressive. Number 15. That's the highest we've ever been.

Wow. Praise be. What a blessing. Oh, my gosh. Love that. Thank you, Pope Theo. But before we get into it, we do have a question. Wow. And this question has plagued a lot, I think. And I think the guest that we have today, it's probably the best to answer it.

Because it seems like we do have a really good friend that seems like his whole livelihood is based on that fact.

Now it's all coming back.

Happy is the one who seizes your infants and dashes them across the rocks.

Pope Theo is aligned with those that we do not agree with.