Priya Bluntz

Make some noise if you love your mother.

Hell yeah.

I love my mother, but that bitch is crazy.

I overheard her on the phone with customer service the other day, and she was so pissed, so pissed that they had given her an Indian, somebody with an Indian accent.

And she was so pissed that she demanded an American.

Yeah.

And then that American did not understand her Indian accent.

Yeah, when I was 17, I got arrested.

And like an Indian mother, her first instinct when she saw me there in the precinct was to just slap me across the face.

And the cop had to pull one of these.

He was like, nope, didn't see it.

Didn't see it.

And then she slapped me again.

And then she slapped me again.

And that's when the cop was like, ma'am, I'm going to need you to stop because if you keep going, I do have to pay you and give you a badge.

I remember before my wedding, my mom threw a tantrum because she told me there's no such thing as a traditional Indian bride with bangs.

She told me... And so together on the spot, we had to Google Indian bride bangs.

Hey, and you know what?

None of those girls had bangs.

Just one time, yeah.