Rabbi Aryeh Lebowitz

So the Gemara in Shabbos Tafid Gimel says that Ula would kiss his sister's abeya daya.

But Ula generally held that you're not supposed to do such things.

So Tos says that he was able to do it because he was a tzaddik, so he didn't feel any sense of taiva whatsoever.

The Rambam, famously in Yisrael B'ya Perch Havav, says that kissing aunts and sisters, even without any taiva,

is a Dover Maguna, a Dover Aserhu, that you're not allowed to do it.

So some say the Rambam holds that it's not a real Isser.

He says Dover Aserhu, he doesn't just say Aser L'Chabek L'Nashek.

So by calling something a Dover Aser, it's a figure of speech.

I don't know.

Rav Menashe Klein writes, So if it's going to be a Kaveh Rav Rios issue, and it's Then maybe there's room to be meikil.

Rav Moshe has a tshuva where someone said they wanted to stop a shidduch because a girl hugs her brothers.

And he said, people who want to stop such a shidduch are a bunch of kanoim.

And he says, I'm not going to tell you that there's absolutely no taiva and that they're doing the right thing, but to break a shidduch over that is a terrible thing.

So one of the best pieces of advice in navigating these kinds of issues is that if it's going to be something that's an ongoing relationship that you're going to have with the person,

Instead of coming up with some excuse each time or getting awkward each time, it's worthwhile to have one uncomfortable conversation.

That uncomfortable conversation might hurt someone's feelings.

They may be insulted at first.

They may get angry at you.

So you'll suffer the indignity of someone being angry at you.

And eventually you know that this person is going to be your sister for the rest of your life and your aunt for the rest of your life.