Rachel Eliza Griffiths

And what I do know is that my mother tried with all of her strength to maintain kind of a normal household for myself and my siblings.

I'm the eldest child of four children.

And so I think my friendship with my mother when this happened, it was hard for the friendship in my mother because I knew I was going to

be there for her but help care for her I mean she had a almost like a bucket of medication that she had to take she did peritoneal dialysis at our home where you know we would have to wear surgical masks to sit with her while she was doing this every five hours of every day for over a decade and

She would have to do this at-home dialysis exchange, and it was really hard to witness.

She was young, she was vibrant, she was very ferocious, and she would have to take medication that sometimes would keep her in bed for half the day.

She would get tired.

I remember many an evening to sit with her and rub her feet or comb her hair or just take care of her.

And, you know, no one would tell an 11 or 12 year old like you're a caretaker now because this was my mother.

This is my best friend.

And so it changed me.

And she died at age 59.

She was a baby.

59, you're just getting started, you know.

But she was very present and vivid and vibrant and unforgettable in those 59 years that she was here.

And I hold on to every single year with all my heart.

I think my mother was worried about my security and my safety.

And when she made decisions or comments that were critical, I now can look back and I can put a context around why my mother might have behaved a certain way.

I can also, you know, think back to her own childhood.

She had to raise herself.