Rachel Eliza Griffiths

Yeah.

So the thing that I found out was that she was there holding space with me the entire time.

She was showing up for me, but she just couldn't tell me.

I couldn't believe the amount of things she had kept in this little kind of archive in her office.

She was proud of me.

And I know that now.

She was so proud of me.

It's soul crushing.

It's soul crushing.

It's maddening.

It's frustrating.

There's a feeling of hopelessness of how am I so much?

I'm definitely too much and I can't share it.

I think you feel like an imposter because...

You are actually all of these things.

I can feel wounded, broken, overwhelmed, and then be front-facing, polished, poised, articulate.

And writing would be kind of my lifeline where I could kind of put some of these disparate and dissonant parts of myself together.

It's soul-crushing to come into...

a space with other writers and not know how they're seeing you, that there's maybe not anyone else who looks like you also listening in the room and what that feels like for a number of reasons.

And that's a complicated thing, and yet that was the room I wanted to be in.