Rachel Eliza Griffiths

And sadly, when I attempted to get the professional help, it immediately torpedoed into a very kind of violent and traumatizing moment.

And then that moment ended up with a short ride to Long Island College Hospital.

And I'm handcuffed and, you know, I'm a criminal, even though the number that's supposed to help people, you know, was not helping me.

What happened to me, I'm hoping it's rare, but sadly, I think it happens more than it should happen.

And I'm sorry for those who have had those kinds of experiences.

And I have to tell you after that experience.

That experience, again, the silver lining is I found the therapist who I've now been working with for over 15 years, who has worked with me about DID.

That moment in my life pushed me to find the help that has now transformed me.

I want to live more than anything.

I want to show up.

I do not want to die alone.

And in these past years, myself, versions of myself have died on my wedding day, on the attack on my husband.

But I wake up and I'm so grateful to wake up.

And so I'm looking now back at that episode as a real pivotal moment in my own narrative arc of who I'm becoming as a person.

And I just want to say that that number exists and helps thousands of people and that I want to be certain and intentional to say that I saw that number as a lifeline, as a flag, as a place where I could bring my experience in that moment to a space where I felt I could be helped.

And so I want to be clear that I don't want to discourage people.

The woman that I talked to when I phoned the number was magical, was wonderful.

And I felt as though, you know, just talking to someone, someone listening was magical.

was excellent and that I must praise because that is a hard job for someone to have and I'm very grateful to that woman whoever she is that helped me now be who I am now and to be alive.

Yes, and that's the irony for me is that I've grown up with wonderful law enforcement and having a very positive memories of law enforcement and police.