Rachelle Hampton

Gemma has caught them spoon-feeding each other from the pot of stew. No!

Gemma has caught them spoon-feeding each other from the pot of stew. No!

Yes, yes. One more thing is that Duncan and Darcy refer to the stew as Stewie, and they refer to themselves as Stewie's parents. Parents? No!

Yes, yes. One more thing is that Duncan and Darcy refer to the stew as Stewie, and they refer to themselves as Stewie's parents. Parents? No!

Gemma will openly admit that sometimes this stew smells pretty good. But then other times it smells like something low-key died in it. The stew is always just simmering away while Gemma's trying to cook. And Duncan and Darcy tend to leave all the trimmings from the stew ingredients just on the counter. So Gemma's always throwing away, like, potato and carrot peels.

Gemma will openly admit that sometimes this stew smells pretty good. But then other times it smells like something low-key died in it. The stew is always just simmering away while Gemma's trying to cook. And Duncan and Darcy tend to leave all the trimmings from the stew ingredients just on the counter. So Gemma's always throwing away, like, potato and carrot peels.

So maybe you should. Sometimes Duncan and Darcy will text the roommate group chat like, whoever's home, can you turn down the stew?

So maybe you should. Sometimes Duncan and Darcy will text the roommate group chat like, whoever's home, can you turn down the stew?

Would you be okay babysitting your housemate, Stu?

Would you be okay babysitting your housemate, Stu?

What is happening?

What is happening?

Yep. Gemma's in her room one night when she hears a scream. Oh no. Gemma runs down the stairs and finds Ruth, her witchy high school classmate, standing in the kitchen. Gemma's like, dude, what the fuck? I thought you were getting murdered. Oh, so it was like a blood-curdling scream. Like, someone got stabbed. I'm locked in.

Yep. Gemma's in her room one night when she hears a scream. Oh no. Gemma runs down the stairs and finds Ruth, her witchy high school classmate, standing in the kitchen. Gemma's like, dude, what the fuck? I thought you were getting murdered. Oh, so it was like a blood-curdling scream. Like, someone got stabbed. I'm locked in.

And Ruth sort of shudders and then points to the corner of the kitchen where Gemma sees... A dozen little shiny bodies scattering across the floor.

And Ruth sort of shudders and then points to the corner of the kitchen where Gemma sees... A dozen little shiny bodies scattering across the floor.

Ruth's like, I know it's so gross. The two go on a roach-killing spree before wiping everything in the kitchen down. They store the bunches of unused herbs on the cutting board in plastic bags. This was not being done before? Okay. And then they see it. See what? A roach swimming in the perpetual stew. This stew is your roommate's child.

Ruth's like, I know it's so gross. The two go on a roach-killing spree before wiping everything in the kitchen down. They store the bunches of unused herbs on the cutting board in plastic bags. This was not being done before? Okay. And then they see it. See what? A roach swimming in the perpetual stew. This stew is your roommate's child.

This is Stewie, their baby, and it is also currently providing a Viking funeral for a roach. What do you do? A Viking funeral is diabolical.

This is Stewie, their baby, and it is also currently providing a Viking funeral for a roach. What do you do? A Viking funeral is diabolical.