Rachelle Hampton

And Morgan knows us very well because at every single party for the last year, she has spent the whole night glued to Grant's couch, which is also exactly how I operated a party. I will be locating a place to sit down and I will be holding court from there all night long. Correct.

And Morgan knows us very well because at every single party for the last year, she has spent the whole night glued to Grant's couch, which is also exactly how I operated a party. I will be locating a place to sit down and I will be holding court from there all night long. Correct.

Yeah, exactly. I will salute you from across the room. Morgan's love for this couch is so clear that halfway through the school year, when Morgan finally gives up the courage to ask Grant what he plans to do with it, Grant bequeaths the couch to her, which means...

Yeah, exactly. I will salute you from across the room. Morgan's love for this couch is so clear that halfway through the school year, when Morgan finally gives up the courage to ask Grant what he plans to do with it, Grant bequeaths the couch to her, which means...

That for every single Friday night for the past four months, when Morgan has been sitting down on that big blue couch, she has done so with the knowledge that she was going to own it one day. It's this knowledge that carries her through finals and the last close of the newspaper, which was particularly torturous because of Kobe.

That for every single Friday night for the past four months, when Morgan has been sitting down on that big blue couch, she has done so with the knowledge that she was going to own it one day. It's this knowledge that carries her through finals and the last close of the newspaper, which was particularly torturous because of Kobe.

Saatchi, if you had to describe the typical white man in media, how would you? Okay.

Saatchi, if you had to describe the typical white man in media, how would you? Okay.

Okay, so now imagine that, that image that you just had in your head. Yeah. Imagine that with an undeveloped prefrontal cortex. Yeah. So Kobe is Grant's roommate, which is maybe the only reason why anyone still talks to him. He's the newspaper's sports reporter.

Okay, so now imagine that, that image that you just had in your head. Yeah. Imagine that with an undeveloped prefrontal cortex. Yeah. So Kobe is Grant's roommate, which is maybe the only reason why anyone still talks to him. He's the newspaper's sports reporter.

And because the school basically has no sports, Kobe has way too much time on his hand, which means his pieces are always 600 words too long. And since it's in print, that still matters.

And because the school basically has no sports, Kobe has way too much time on his hand, which means his pieces are always 600 words too long. And since it's in print, that still matters.

He also does that specific white man in media thing where because he feels so strongly about objectivity and bias, he always has to cover both sides. What that means in practice is that whenever he covers women's sports, he interviews someone who thinks women's sports should be defunded. Oh, boy.

He also does that specific white man in media thing where because he feels so strongly about objectivity and bias, he always has to cover both sides. What that means in practice is that whenever he covers women's sports, he interviews someone who thinks women's sports should be defunded. Oh, boy.

One of his very first op-eds argued that, for clarity's sake, white journalists shouldn't censor themselves when discussing the N-word because there's obviously a different N-word than the one we're all thinking of that it could be confused for. You know? For clarity's sake. What?

One of his very first op-eds argued that, for clarity's sake, white journalists shouldn't censor themselves when discussing the N-word because there's obviously a different N-word than the one we're all thinking of that it could be confused for. You know? For clarity's sake. What?

The outcry over that op-ed is what got Kobe moved on to sports where he can terrorize the campus's minority jock population. And the thing is, Kobe's not just a terror during work hours. How do you think this kind of guy behaves at parties?

The outcry over that op-ed is what got Kobe moved on to sports where he can terrorize the campus's minority jock population. And the thing is, Kobe's not just a terror during work hours. How do you think this kind of guy behaves at parties?

Kobe never contributes anything to the parties, even though he lives with Grant. He always brings random extra people without telling anyone. And no one can leave their four loco around him because he'll just steal it. He's a real four loco fiend. Everyone's waiting for Grant to graduate so they can just stop hanging out with Kobe, including Morgan. Though Morgan has her own reasons.

Kobe never contributes anything to the parties, even though he lives with Grant. He always brings random extra people without telling anyone. And no one can leave their four loco around him because he'll just steal it. He's a real four loco fiend. Everyone's waiting for Grant to graduate so they can just stop hanging out with Kobe, including Morgan. Though Morgan has her own reasons.